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Day 4--evening
Day 4--brigadeiros...
Date: 5/5/2006 9:05:27 PM ( 7 y ) ... viewed 1305 times I can't believe this happened--I ate dinner again today!! It's the third time already. This is what happened: I came home around 5, after working at my campus job all day. I had to stop at an event of the Portuguese Club, of which I am a member (I want to learn Portuguese). I had to return a DVD to them. They were having a traditional Brazilian dessert: brigadeiros.
I only ate a few, and they were so sweet...After I left the event I immediately drank 10 oz of water, to at least "dilute" all that sugar in my stomach, because the slower it's absorbed into the blood the better..After I got home I thought I would go into the dining hall and grab some lemons to make some lemonade. Actually, I think subconsciously I had another reason: I knew that the 2 other nights I had gone into the dining hall, I ended up eating (it didn't happen in the mornings, when I went in and had no problem avoiding food). And I think I wanted to test myself. But..I ate. I ate chicken soup, broccoli, a few spoons of mashed potatoes, and a slice of challah bread.
The interesting thing is that every time I had dinner during the last weak, there was a different trigger: the first time I felt very weak and tired, probably because I hadn't fasted in a long time. The second time (after another 2 days) I was very, very hungry. And today it was different again: I wasn't hungry, and I wasn't feeling weak, but I simply felt the urge to taste food (and brigadeiros), so it was something psychological, as if the habit of eating didn't want to go away just like that.
So now I'm thinking that once I've gone through these three "crashes", and (I think) resolved the emotional issue that caused each one, there can't possibly be any other emotional/psychological reason that could cause another crash. But just to be sure, I will completely refrain from going into the dining hall at dinner. Even when I feel "strong" and want to "test myself". I have enough "testing" with exams right now, so I don't really need any other testing! lol
On a different note, I am fairly certain that despite eating today, I will wake up tomorrow even lighter, even if only by half a pound. I went to the mall today and tried on a size 10 suit that I tried on last week. Last week the pants didn't really fit me, they were way too snug (the jacket was ok, as I am bottom heavy). Well, when I tried them on tonight they fit much better. Still snug, but they fit! So I will exchange the size 12 of this suit that I bought 2 weeks ago for the size 10.
One of the student councils I am on is having their end of year dinner on Sunday night, at a Greek restaurant. I would have liked to go, but that would mean the fourth time I eat during this "fast". I think it's best if I don't go.
Now I'll go back to writing my paper about the Argentina financial crisis. And then sleep for 10 hours !
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