I am so focused on what I am doing that I have been isolating somewhat and mostly consentrating on my life. I have no desire to go out or to see my friends. I am spending a lot of time on the computer looking up recipies and reading everything I can get my hands on about health and the many ways I can improve my life in a more holistic way.

My 3 year old granddaughter Sophia lives with her parents in the same apartment building as mine and I find she is the one person I really like to spend time with. She is so natural, real and accepting. She just wants to play, watch videos and help me. She is so eager to help me juice the lemons or make my bed.

I let her do as much as possible because she at a stage in her life where she needs to. This is where she gets her self esteem. When I accept her need to help me instead of needing to do "it" myself because I am faster or neater, she is so happy! I find I make things up to ask for her help just to see the pure joy in her eyes when she says "yes,I will help you Nana." She is so proud of herself.

I think this goes for everyone, not just 3 year olds. We all need to be accepted, respected and supported for what we need to do in our lives. Even if I disagree with someones actions I need to remember that this is their journey and to allow them the dignity to follow the paths that call out to them.

Right now my journey is different from many peoples. Not eating seems to be frowned upon. Some opinions I have heard range from  "I could never do that" to "it is so bad for you" to raising their eyebrows a little when they think you are not looking.

This behavior reminds me to try even harder to live with principles in my life and to practice acceptance all the more. There is a quote in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous that really speaks to this,

  "There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance--that principle is contempt prior to investigation."---Hubert Spencer

I found myself quite tired this morning so after I got my ward off to school I went back for a few more hours sleep. I love sleep! I am expelling a lot of bowel gunk today. I guess it is from the P&B shakes and all the water I managed to get down today.

I can't believe I am at day 17 already. I feel much lighter and cleaner than I have in a long time.(since the last 21 day MC)I am more committed to changing my lifestyle than ever because in doing this long cleanse and research on the plant based diet, I feel I have found the truth in what I am doing and therefore know that I am on the right path.

Much of my life was riddled with abuse and disregard for my life on a holistic level. It is different now. I hold myself in high regard and plan on living the second part of my life a peaceful and joyful manner.

 This means that I need to make more changes and I know what they are. Diet and exercise. Hence, the Master Cleanse for 40 days so I can change my eating habits and of course I will be getting back to the gym.