What?  You mean to tell us that you have an objection to injecting mercury, aluminum, formaldehyde, spermacide, unborn human and animal fetal matter, anthrax, monkey kidney cells,  calf serums, rhesus monkey material, formalin, phenol, coal tar, aspartame, MSG, various strains of deadly viruses and a few microbial contaminants and such into your body?

How positively non-mainstream of you!

I suppose next you would have us believe that you would practice medical voodoo such as relying on good hygeine and building up your immune system through plants and such.

I say, what do you think your body is, some kind of bloody temple? Wot, wot?  I mean it isn't like you own it, is it?   What in the world would we do if everyone chose nature instead of modern science and rejected vaccinations, chemo and radiation?

My God man, if everyone thought like you there would scarcely be enough disease to go round!  No, wait, that's not right, I mean there would not be enough profits, yes, that's it, not enough profits . . . . no, wait, that isn't it either . . .

Oh yes, here it is - there would be entirely too much nature and that would be, um, well it would be unnatural! Surely you can see the logic there, can't you?  Too much nature is too unnatural.  Short, to the point and . . . . . um, well perhaps that isn't it entirely either.  But still, one must not let the turn of a phrase blind them to logic and you must see what I am getting at . . . I mean it simply would not be right!

Wait a minute!  There is is!  By Jove, yes, that's it!  IT WOULD NOT BE RIGHT. Yes! Yes! - there it is and I know it is spot on because that is precisely what others have said I should believe, and that is what I have been told to say to others as well and . . .  well surely you can see that if I am to believe something then I should jolly well be expected to say it also, wot? Wot?

And so yes, finally there we have it . . . .  it is simply not right.  So I have been told and so I have told you, and if that is what I have been told and that is what I am in turn telling you, then it must be so, irrefutably so in fact, and surely you can see the sense and logic in that! 

Ahh, I am so glad to have been able to clear that up for you, even if I did have to go to such great lengths to spell out the unimpeachable logic of it all.

(Ahem, and if I haven't done so, you WILL be a good chap and be so kind as to at least grant us the children and the elderly, surely?)

Sincerly,

Dangerous Rhino . . . er, I mean to say Antic Bacon . . .  er, no, not that one either . . .

Oh yes, here it is!

DQ