Help! My 2 year old is feeling rejec... 
newmother
16 y
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Hello,
I have a little boy is 27 months old and a newborn baby who is almost a month old. My two year old has been lashing out crying all the time, and wanting our constant attention. We are reading him storys and doing everything we can to make sure his needs are met. He gets to go the park and I am home with him. He still gets a lot of one on one time with me. I tried to wean him during my pregnancy becuase my milk dried up but Jacob still wanted to nurse for comfort even when nothing came out. Every time I've tried to wean him he refutes with full force and its a nightmare. So I figured he wasn't ready and I've kept going. I've tried to wean him 4 times now. At 15 months, 20 months, 23 months and I am trying again. Its very hard on me to nurse the new baby and Jacob. I am able to limit his nursings and sometimes I can distract him so he won't nurse. For instance I will grab a snack and his sippy cup and read him a story while I nurse my newborn son. When Jacob does nurse and I do let him sometimes when the distracting is no longer working he will then nurse for 5 min or less. However now he is waking up in the night and he has been sleeping through the night for a very long time in the past. Well now he is waking up in sweats screaming for me- ma ma mommy! I feel like my heart is breaking. I am doing everything I can so that Jacob doesn't feel rejected but it seems that he is still feel rejected no matter what I do. I am crying almost daily. I really want him to be weaned because nursing him is not the same anymore. I want to also be able to bond with the new baby. Nursing Jacob is no longer enjoyable for me for many reasons. I am trying all the tricks in the book and nothing seems to be working. I feel very alone.
Has anyone had children this close in age and how long does it typically take most kids to adjust to the new baby? He does kiss the baby and he is kind to him. Jacob seems to be taking out his frustrations on my husband and I rather than the baby. Any ideas? I feel like I am on a emotional rollar coaster and I even feel guilty for having another child.
Sarah
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- Re: Help! My 2 year old is feeling r... White Tiger
16 y
3,925
This is a reply to # 1,121,864Pacifier?
Did you let him know it is his baby too? sit the baby in his lap, but make sure you keep your hands on the baby. I think it would make him feel closer to the baby as if he is not left out because of a newborn- Re: Help! My 2 year old is feeling r... newmother
16 y
3,878
MoreThis is a reply to # 1,121,931Thank for your suggestions! I really appreciate it! Jacob would never take a pacifer, we tried many times. He also had a hard time with a bottle because I had to pump some milk for him when he was really little and had to be left with my husband. I guess he just always prefered me. I will try to let him hold the baby more and put the baby on his lap too while the baby nurses. That might really help. Jacob does kiss Caleb a lot. :)
Sarah
- Re: Help! My 2 year old is feeling r... newmother
16 y
3,878
- Re: Help! My 2 year old is feeling r... #37831
16 y
3,883
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This is a reply to # 1,121,864I am not an expert but I will tell you what I heard anyway- just in case you havent considered that one before. I heard you should try to involve the older one in some of the "work". Find things that could be "his job"- like filling up the shelve with new diapers or getting the powder box or whatever it is such a small child can do. That way he can be "in your team" to help out with the baby and you can find lots of opportunity to praise him. If you can switch his attitude so he feels like he is helping you out big time, he might not see the baby as competition...
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- Re: Help! My 2 year old is feeling r... newmother
16 y
3,862
This is a reply to # 1,122,150thank you! I will try that. I am always telling him to fetch me a diaper and he seems to really like doing helpful things. I think Jacob is just having a hard time letting go of babyhood. He just turned 2 in November, and he has always been a sensitive boy. He had a very traumatic birth and he had colic for 2 months. He also has eczema which causes him to cry more often and want ma ma. We are manageing the eczema naturally but he does have some severe flare ups. Even with no milk in any of our diets he still has flare ups. Jacob is very cuddly also. Even as a tiny baby he had to know that I was right there next to him in the bassinett. I had my arm in the bassinette so he knew I was there. Then as he got older we tried the crib but he was terrified of it. We let him in our bed and it seemed to be the only way that our family got peace. Jacob would cry for hours in the crib even going in and out so the ferber method never worked on him and I think the couple of times that we tried it might of made him more clingy becuase the next day he clug to me like a coala bear. I think a lot of what is going on is just because of Jacobs personality. Caleb is very different. He can sleep alone with no problem or crying, he doesn't have colic, he is very mellow and he only gets up once in the night to feed. He is very laid back and seldom crys. Maybe because Caleb is so differnet he will wean himself. I've heard that some babies do that but I've never experienced it.
I used to worry about Jacob because it seems that even as a tiny infant he was so in need of constant physical contact, but my mother in law tells me that my husband was the same way as a baby and a little boy, and now my husband is a big strong man and although he has a lot of empahty he is very much a man. He is a hunter, and into all the guy stuff and he has a take charge attitude. I guess some little boys just need their mothers for a very long time.
Sarah- Re: Help! My 2 year old is feeling r... rwardin1
16 y
3,869
Lugol’s Iodine Free S&H
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine Solution. Restore lost reserves.
Organic Detoxification Program
Cleanse your body of toxins and wastes. Feel vibrant an...
End Constipation Now
Let oxygen remove old, impacted fecal matter as it detoxifies and...
This is a reply to # 1,122,590My two girls are 26 months apart. It will take time for Jacob to adjust, but he will. My daughters play together all the time and hug each other. My oldest just turned 4 and the other one will turn 2 in May. I am very happy to have had the youngest when I did. Maybe when the baby starts responding to Jacob he will feel differently. I think you had some terrific suggestions from other people and hang in there!
One thing I read in Parenting or somewhere was talking aloud when it's someone's turn. For example, "Baby, it's Jacob's turn now." And vise versa.
Kim
- Re: Help! My 2 year old is feeling r... rwardin1
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- Re: Help! My 2 year old is feeling r... newmother
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- Re: Help! My 2 year old is feeling r... White Tiger
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