This relationship started in Nov 06.  I was very attracted to him from the beginning.  His name is Chris. He has a son and seemed to be a great father which attracted me more.  He spent time with his child everyday.  He said he had slept with his ex a month before.... i should have run the other way... but no. I wanted to be with him.  He needed help finding a new job.  He had a good job but had lost it and has been in a slump for over 5 years so i said i would help him.  He has been working in a bar.

Anyway I don't want to write a novel but it seems like I keep getting in relationships where the guy needs "saving".  Basically he finally moved in with me last December when he wasn't able to pay his rent.  I had been laid off my job and just bought a house so I need help with my mortgage.  He never committed to me this entire time and I kept helping him. Good side is he got a 2nd job during the day.

I'm not totally innocent in this relationship b/c when he first moved in I slept with my ex. He kept telling me that he didn't want to commit to me and I guess I guess wanted to feel loved. I have seen my ex off and on for 2 years.  Then another guy showed me interest and I saw him.  I told Chris about what I had done after first lying about it, but he questioned me almost everyday. He was pretty relentless in acquising me of seeing other people.... even though he said he didn't want me.  I was very confused b/c he would act jealous.  He never let me live it down. He said that he was going to commit to me but didn't want to right away to see what I would do.  He said it doesn't make sense that I wanted to be with him but still saw other men.

Almost right when he moved in his car broke down. I let him live in my house and use my car while he gave me some money every once and a while.  I basically shared everything with him. 

His ex has even caused more drama. She hated me (she hates anyone he dates) and wouldn't let their son spend the night whle he lived with me.  The only way he could see his son is if he went to his ex's which he would do... even spending the night sometimes.  He was fighting all the time with his ex... however, just a few weeks ago he said he slept with her 1 time in Feb.  He says he did it b/c of what I had done.  For the last 6 months he has been telling me he hadn't slept with anyone else.

The reason I am writing now is b/c it's such a mess and I'm very sad and depressed.  He had said he might move out but said we could give it 30 more days... well all of a sudden Monday he asked for a phonebook and called u-haul.  I was devastated. He owes me about $1400 and my house is a mess. 

When he moved in initially he put his furniture in public storage which I have been paying for each month.  It was in my name so I went there while he was getting the uhaul and taken him off the contract so he wouldn't have access to the unit.  My thought was that I would give him access to his stuff when he pays me the money.  I'm very upset that he has been saving up money to pay down on a new place and couldn't pay me for the last 2 months.  My mortgage is $2100 and I needed his help which I made very clear.  He also did some demand to my house (punched holes in the wall, broken closet, etc.).  I have told him i would give access to his stuff if he fixed my house, cleaned up what he messed up and paid me at least some of the money.  His ex is harrassing me b/c some of her son's stuff is in the storage unit (son's bed). 

To make matters worse I had a gall stone attack last Friday. He had been drinking so he couldn't drive me to the doctor.  I ended up going to a clinic and they called an ambulance b/c they thought it might be my appendix. He didn't even come to the hospital and i had to take a taxi home from the hospital Friday evening. He was sleeping and never answered the phone.

I guess I should also add that he is an alchoholic and I think is addicted to coke. I spent a lot of time trying to get him into rehab.

A little history about myself. I'm 35, college graduate, well traveled (over 20 countries), and have a great job..... I'm adding this b/c I've done ok in other aspects of my life.

As I type this it seems so crazy and I can't believe that I'm describing my situation.  I still want him back and feel sick.  What's wrong with me?  Please help.