Who's who in US Security Politics ... or
.. another business day at the White House.

Conversation between George W. and his National Security Advisor!
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.
George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.
George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of
China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.
Condi: That's correct.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China.
Get
me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?
George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And
then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.
George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone. (Condi
picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should
send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese
food
in the Middle East?

And here is a joke that really gave me "the good laugh"...:


Recently George Bush was in England and while there he and Queen Elizabeth were talking about leadership....
The Queen says. "You know, Geaorge, the secret to good leadership is just to surround yourself with smart people."
George says,"Yes, Madame, but how do you know if they are smart?"
The Queen says,"I ask questions to see if I get the right answers. Watch and I will demonstrate." She gets on the phone and dials Tony Blair. "Tony, it's the Queen Mother. I have a question for you. If your mother and father had a child and it was not your brother or your sister, who would that child be?" Tony says, "Well, that is easy, Madame. It would have to be me." "Very good, Tony. Have a nice day." She looks at George and says, "See how I did that?"
George says, "Cool, I'll try that when I get home."
Back in the States George decides to call Jesse Helms....."Jesse, I have a question for you. If your mother and father had a child and it was not your sister or brother who would that child be?"
Jesse ponders the question and unable to answer it he askes the President if he can get back to him. He then gathers some of his Senate colleagues and poses the question to them but none can figure it out. Then they decide to call Colin Powell because he for sure is smart and can help them....
"General, if your Momma and Daddy had a child and it was not your sister or your brother, who would it be?" Colin immediately figures it out and says, "Well, if is not my brother or my sister then it must be me, you stupid cracker."
Jesse, now hurriedly calls George back and says, 'Mr. President, I have your answer....It's Colin Powell!"
George answers in disgust..."Wrong! It's Tony Blair!"

This has to be read by all Norwegians and anybody that
ever has had anything to do with any Norwegians.(It
kind of explains why we are the way we are...)

Temperatures:

+15°C / 59°F

This is as warm as it gets in Norway, so we'll start
here. (OK, this summer was an exception)

People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves.

The Norvegians are out in the sun, getting a tan.


+10°C / 50°F

The French are trying in vain to start their central
heating.

The Norvegians plant flowers in their gardens.

+5°C / 41°F

Italian cars won't start.

The Norvegians are cruising in cabriolets.


0°C / 32°F

Distilled water freezes.

The water in Oslo Fjord gets a little thicker.


-5°C / 23°F

People in California almost freeze to death.

The Norvegians have their final barbecue before
winter.


-10°C / 14°F

The Brits start the heat in their houses.

The Norvegians start using long sleeves.


-20°C / -4°F

The Aussies flee from Mallorca.

The Norvegians end their Midsummer celebrations.
Autumn is here.


-30°C / -22°F

People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from
the face of the earth.

The Norvegians start drying their laundry indoors.

-40°C / -40°F

Paris start cracking in the cold.

The Norvegians stand in line at the hotdog stands.


-50°C / -58°F

Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole.

The Norvegian army postpones their winter survival
training awaiting real winter weather.


-70°C / -94°F

The false Santa moves south.

The Norvegian army goes out on winter survival
training.


-183°C / -297.4°F

Microbes in food don't survive.

The Norvegian cows complain that the farmers' hands
are cold.


-273°C / -459.4°F

ALL atom-based movent halts.

The Norvegians start saying "****, it's cold outside
today."


-300°C / -508°F

Hell freezes over, Norway wins the Eurovision Song
Contest.