Not easy to walk away . some of us have to sit and wait for fate to turn on our side.
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With all due respect, such a statement implies that you are playing the victim. That said, it may seem to you that you don't have any options. However, you do have options. Whether or not you exercise these options, that's entirely up to you --- and no one else. It's never easy to take a stand and break away, but it can be done.

You say that your religion has put constraints on you when it comes to breaking away. I'm assuming that you live in a Western country. If so, you are free to break away from your religion. Don't get me wrong---I'm not trying to trivialize your beliefs. I'm just pointing out that this option exists. Of course, such an option may mean having to leave your extended family behind. And what about your husband? Has he voiced an opinion on all of this? I hope that your husband is treating you well and not subjugating you in any way.

Your mother will continue to have power over you only if you continue to let her.

If you are feeling conflicted due to your faith, I would suggest finding a counselor who specializes in this topic. Some would suggest talking to a cleric. However, it depends on the cleric. One who is forward-thinking could help you deal with your mother and help you separate. However, one who is backward in belief won't be of help. That's why I suggest an independent counselor. An independent counselor will help you shore up your resolve, and thus, help you make the right decision for YOU.

Best of luck to you!

Hon, if you can write a post like the above...the time for your freedom has come.

I promise you that, not long from now, your life will smooth and become more balanced, even if you do leave.


Be as kind as you can, of course, but don't wait.

Think about it, and plan.

There will be days when you feel badly, and days when you feel excited, but the days when you feel calm, and balanced, are the ones to rely on.

Talk quietly with someone who lives a balanced life and who makes you feel clear and independant.


My best to you,

Fledgling

I am also a child of a sociopath, notice I say child, as I feel the word victim would be defeating. Not because of any other reason butfore being her child do I feel an obligation, or I should say "DID" feel an obligation to stand by her and honor my mothers wishes, in my case there was no religion involved, just my sense of being, that by the way was groomed by her, my mother. So from the start I had to re-adjust my perspective as again they were groomed by a self serving maniac, and were very harmful to ONLY ME. It is only recent that I have learned to liberate myself from the clutches of evil. You have to first realize what is right for you this should not be left in then hands of someone that simply does not have the ability to love PERIOD! It took most of my life to realize what she was, but when I did realize, no matter how painful it was to walk away I knew I had to for self preservation. You have come this far, you recognize what she is, it is now up to you to love yourself. I know that is not easy, as you were taught to only love her, YOU DON'T MATTER, but that is not true and you know it. If your mother is a true sociopath she is not capable of doing anything good for you, it's only about her, even if that means hurting you, her desire is to please her and her only! That being said, learn to love you, start there, and be true to yourself at all times. Still doesn't make it easy but it's your life, LIVE IT!!