Thank you, yes indeed. I miss my parents. They were so open and fair-minded. No, of course they weren't perfect.

Most of my siblings did not develop the love of the bible that my parents had - I did not either - until I became older...perhaps that is one of the problems?

I don't know, but I do know that the relationship with my sister started to drop off when she literally shrieked at me one day "enough". This was after a whole year of not seeing her, and I very carefully brought up something about Genesis based on something I saw outside her kitchen window. I never proselytise and try to convert people. But I am not allowed to "be me" either with my family.

If you are not allowed to be yourself with your own family, and yet you're expected to sit and listen to their sex-capades, (and comments to me like, "Jealous?") and their parties, (that they don't invite you to) and their general interests (that they go on for hours about and that really don't interest you) - well, it only adds salt to the wound when they have NO time for YOU.

I mean, I listened to them because it made THEM happy to talk and share! I ENJOYED that. But it was one-sided.

Always one-sided. When it was my 'turn' to talk - buh-bye.

I let it go for YEARS. I decided that if I was to come away from every single family gathering bawling my head off, the only change had to come from me. I got tired of defending myself, my words, my desires.

God loves me, and that's all that matters anymore.

I can remember one time when I pleadingly asked my sister tearfully, "If I can't be me with YOU, then WHO else can I be ME with?"

She was still yelling: "YOU GOT FRIENDS DON'T YOU?"

wow - that was the beginning of the end

PS:
I was going to send this to you via a PM, but because of something posted in another thread, I thought I'd just post it here. I really don't like to "put it all out there" but there really are some people in this world where they are in the minority - but - this does NOT equate to being in the wrong.

Love to you, Clew - and to everybody here.

I really felt for Mike. I do understand where he's coming from. I am also the middle child. Two older brothers, and one younger sister, and baby brother'll be 49 this fall.