I read your other thread and it's Depression that you have and which is causing many of your problems. It's not genetic either because it is learnt from your parent's who learnt it from their parent's going right back with no one realising the mistakes made. Until you deal with that things are never going to be as you want them to be. What you said about your relatives suggests that they had it as well, which is not surprising because parent's pass down behaviour to their children. Your great grandparent passed on the idea that expressing emotion is wrong and created fear of expressing the emotions of Sadness (crying) and anger. That creates a great deal of stress whenever the emotions are experienced which is damaging and causes the conditions which lead to depression/anxiety ie Kidney Qi deficiency.

Your in good company because there are some famous people who have had Depression including Sir Winston Churchill.

Your anxiety goes along with Depression and affects your courage to face your fears. Fear is the result of thought processes but the way it affects you is dependant on the state of the nervous system which adapts to long term stresses making the body and brain more able to survive in the face of danger. However most fear is unhelpful because it doesn't protect from danger at all.

Go ahead with the meditating or begin with progressive muscular relaxation so you become aware of your body and muscular tension. It's a very good starting point IMO. Then move on to either meditation or self-hypnosis. Self-hypnosis is better than meditating IMO because the depth of relaxation can be far greater, it can be entered far faster and the healing is much better because the body functions best the more relaxed it is. Healing the kidney Qi (depression) will be easier if you can relax as deeply as possible.

BTW depression can be cured and I don't mean taking anti depressants because that is not a cure. Your kidney Qi will be weak which is affecting your skin. Resolving the depression would improve your skin, improve your courage to face your fears and change many things. But it does take some doing because of how the nervous system works, constantly seeking to balance the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems.

I know where it can be easily seen and verified and I know about ideas that you have about yourself because that goes with depression as well.

Meditation will help you sooooo much. Try just being in the moment. I wouldn't worry about not knowing what to say, maybe just try being a good listener to others, being truely present when they talk, if you are to worried thinking about what you're going to say, you miss what's already been said. I always remind myself that listening is not waiting for my turn to talk. Just breath and let all the anxious out with each breath. Blessings and best wishes.

Meditation is essentially Yin state and anxiety, paradoxically, is also Yin-based problem - the harmful energy of "Dampness" in Su-jok terms.

More fundamental approach through mental energies:
[mental]--->He (emotions)---Ne (anxiety)

can easily be done as self-treatment with natural crystals.
Please connect if interested.