Thanks to my nuclear cataracts and the refusal of the eye profession to treat them, and thanks also to the halos I see around streetlamps at night, I have decided to give myself a new name: SAINT NUCLEUS (not to be confused with Saint Nicholas = Santa Claus = Father Christmas).
And I hereby do declare that all other nuclear cataract sufferers who see halos around streetlamps, who respect their natural lens, and who would rather keep their natural lens than being forced to undergo surgery by evil ones who do not respect it, are also saints. Bless you all, brothers of Saint Nucleus. It would be cool if we could build a monastery deep in the Ardennes mountains of Belgium, where there are no streetlamps, and there is no glare from car headlights. There, our monks could brew "Cataract Beer", and have a laboratory in the basement where we could work on anticataract eyedrops. On the subject of beer, it is astounding that a brewery and a beer named "Cataract" actually existed...Please see images above.
Today, a friend who came over disputed my title to SaintHood.
If I see halos around streetlamps, she says, it is the streetlamps which should be sanctified, not me, because they have the halos. Good point. But, since it is me who has the faulty nucleus, and since the streetlamps don't care whether we cure cataract or not (and I do), I still consider that I can call myself "Saint Nucleus", and all those of you with this type of cataract who want to cure it without ripping out the natural lens, are entitled to call themselves "Brothers of the Order of Saint Nucleus". Brothers, let us pray for a nonsurgical cure of nuclear cataract, and for good to triumph over evil.