I dont believe that God is within 
Gehna
21 y
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I dont believe, at this time that God is within me.
Wether or not this is because I was raised Catholic, I dont know.
I tend to think it is more because of the vision I had several years ago... and that vision did not come from within. I believe God, for me anyways, is a separate identity. I mean, who really knows, who is right, who is wrong. I have stopped trying to find answers to where I will not really know until another time... when I die perhaps.
I am now able to read a book and take what I like and leave the rest in the book. It was all or nothing before, but as I am growing as a person, I am learning along the way.
I dont consider myself a whole catholic, but partly. I dont think I could ever abandon the catholic religion, cause it is my roots, and it does have some good in it. I believe all religion has some good.
Why am I writing this... to stay sane I supose. I miss my old life, but realize it was so empty... what I miss most of my old life... was the health I had... going anywhere, doing anything that I wanted to do.
So, for now, I have had to go this spiritual route... cause I had no other way to hang on... it has done me well, and continues to do me well, so I have to be grateful that at least I took a good route. I believe for me anyways that times when I get down, like now, the more I pray... the more I am lifted higher out of my depression. A Depression nothing will help... just a time of my life that I have to either stay in, or move out of. It is also lyme toxins coming out. Candida toxins too.
Cant take a drink of alcohol now to kill the depression, cant go for a run... cause I am not well enough... cant just sit there anymore cause it is sooooo empty, so... why not read my book that Janaki told me about. It is a good book, and it is taking me to a higher level of self.
Gehna
- Re: I dont believe that God is withi... Tracey
21 y
2,379
MoreThis is a reply to # 498,984Hi Ghena,
Yeah, the term 'god is within' doesn't really describe what I feel, either. Perhaps the way to get to 'god' (or the Divine as I like to call it!) is by going within....and it's there that you find your essential connection to the Divine? I mean, looking outside of yourself in the physical/material world isn't going to connect you to the Divine. But, yes, I do believe that 'God' or the Divine is 'outside' of our physical Selves...but that we're made up of this Divine 'stuff'....and maybe the more conscious we become the more we can feel this?
ah....just more rambles!
Do you really FEEL God within? Do you bring the feeling/experience that you had in your dream of God INTO your being? Because that would be very healing...to feel it, not just 'think' it/God/the Divine. The living Light can heal you, perhaps when you feel God within...?
Just some tangents!
love Tracey
- Yes Gehna
21 y
2,108
This is a reply to # 498,985Hi Tracey,
Yes, I think you are right... the more I think about it, the more it may be why I had the dream that I did.
My last dream was about the DIFLUCAN. It is a powerful antifungal drug... and was taking it before I had the dream, but it was making me very very ill... but it was also making me feel better in some ways. It was making me stronger. I have no dr right now to tell me how to use it... the MD that prescribed it to me has no idea how to treat candida... but gave it to me cause... he was open minded, and my liver was showing ok on the tests he had done. The MD that I need to see is in the City... several hours away(cant get down now, too sick)... and this MD knows how to use the diflucan.... he treats chronic candida. YOu can take the diflucan... every day, or every week, or 2 pills a week. I dont know what is the best for me... so keep trying to find the right dosage. My pendulum is not working all the time, for me that is, my energy is not right all the time. On others it works, but me, not always.
ANYWAYS... I then had this dream, the bible, and it was... telling me to bless the diflucan before I took it... and medical intervention is to be used. Like... medical interventions is a MUST... but I knew it meant eventually, after I finished the diflucan pills I had. I also later felt that this dream could
mean that the diflucan is like the holy bread, in catholic religion... I am semi catholic... and that when I took the Diflucan into me, after I had blessed it, it was also like I was taking GOD within me to heal. He was the diflucan, sort of.
I sort of felt that this dream was a huge part in my recovery...
that it was kinda like the final... part to my recovery.
Geez, I could be wrong... and this could all be that I am reading way too much into my dreams, I am not sure.
I also felt, that this dream... was directly from God...
and when I woke up... from this dream... I was so amazed, so...
grateful...
I dont know... it could all be not like I think it is.
I am just going by my gut, hoping it is right.
I have had some other dreams, and when I say dreams... they are more like... blank white wall dreams with only words for me to see. Geez, hope this is all what I think it is. I have such an imagination... who knows.
I will post more later. Thanks for all your suggestions.
I looked at your site, but only for a few minutes the other day... really liked it... would like to look more but cannot recall where I saw it. :)
bye for now,
Gehna
- Re: Yes Tracey
21 y
2,129
MoreThis is a reply to # 498,987Hi Ghena!
Well...isn't that interesting that your dream and my words about would dove-tail so nicely! I'd say that there is meaning there, yes. FEELING is the most important thing...if when you do certain things (like take Difulcan) you imagine and feel as though you are taking healing energy into you (or God)..and if you can really conjure up the feeling (it is as good as real!)...then that will go a long way to healing you, for sure. Keep that up.
Did you ever get my other post to you regarding the very first dream you posted? I have linked to it below, in case you didn't see it.
I hope to hear from you again, Ghena.
You can find my website again by going to the Astrology & Dream Forums - it's linked at the top! It has a lonnng way to go - but I'm working on it slowly...thanks for your support!
love TraceyDid you get this post of mine to you?
- Yes Gehna
21 y
2,125
This is a reply to # 498,989Hi Tracey,
Yes, I got your message, I thought I had responded.
Well, I deeply feel at this time that the candida and lyme... are very much contributing to a distorted mind in me.
I believe I am getting more sound mentally as I heal the lyme, and the candida... and the messages that I have recieved
have both astounded me and opened me up... to a more vibrant being. I am so grateful for these messages. there were and are times that I have sobbed for hours, so deeply happy and grateful... cause these messages are saving my life. I sometimes hesitate to post anything cause I have been superstisious a good part of my life, but thought, heck, why not, if they are not to be, well, then there is something else that is meant for me. I TRULY hope... that everything will just keep getting better for me.
I was reading my journal, and just cannot believe how sick I had gotten from lyme disease about 6 months ago. I was soooo ill my body was shutting down. I lay there in bed hour after hour wanting to die, from being so ill. I begged GOD to let me die, and had I had the guts I would have taken my life... I am no weakling, but I could not take it in the mind and body anymore... but for some reason... I could never do it, the knife by my wrist would not cut. and so I prayed .... and here I am.
I know... that stress... did me in. but lyme and candida were also causing me to be stressed. And I know... that I was meant to learn that lesson, so.. in the future... my life... will be... what I want it to be. I believe the power is within me, and I have never used it to its full extent, not even half of it. And.. I have to say, I believe, this nightmare... of mine all these years, was a gift, and if I was strong enough... I would... become the woman I was meant to be.
BUT, if i had to do it all over again Tracey, I would not do it all over again. It was too much.
What kept me going, was reading about others.
Gehna
- Re: Yes Tracey
21 y
2,242
This is a reply to # 498,991Hi Gehna,
That is sooo good that you have kep a journal so you can see how far you've come - and how you're getting healthier and healthier. Does your health correspond to listening to your dreams? Is there something else that has improved your health, too? Keep on in the direction you are going...it is working!
I am sorry to hear that you have been feeling like you couldn't take it anymore - just keep in your mind and heart that you won't always feel like this and that the 'only constant is change'! It's oh so true...and you'll be stronger and more knowledgeable when you come out the other side of this dark phase in your life.
Stay strong and let that expansive healing energy in!
love Tracey
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- Tracey Gehna
21 y
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This is a reply to # 498,995Tracey,
Soon as I started to listen to my dream messages things started to get better. I wish I had listened to them sooner, but I did not. I let it go. Who knows, maybe if i had listened to them sooner I would not be where I am now.
I remember 3 years ago... I went on the Diflucan, and I was so sick after one week on it. I had journalled that I had a dream back then telling me take a product called ultraclear. I know what that is, it is something to support the liver... but back then, I did not listen to the dream, I thought... it would not work.
Oh well, I am now listening to them. They are not all the answers I dont think, hmmm, maybe they are. I will see what happens as I follow them, and watch how I do.
No, the only reason my health is improving now is because of my dreams and of course, the PSYCHIC woman that i called. Without calling her, I am sure I would be dead by now. That call saved my life. She pointed me in a direction I never would have goen down. I would NEVER ever had thought I had lyme. I also did not get the dreams... the really instructive dreams... until I was so sick, maybe because I was prayed from the deepest part of me, and surrendered to God... my whole self... did I start to get the direct dreams. I dont know. Maybe cause I begged to be saved... and to please help me... I am though awaiting some test results... about other infections... from my LYME MD. I dont know what will happen with them. I did have some dreams telling me I had other infections,
and so on, so will see.
I dont totally rely on my dreams, cause my health is much too fragile... I am though doing them now, and if things dont go well, I will have to seek some more help.
Gehna
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- Re: Tracey Ayehasherayeh
21 y
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This is a reply to # 498,998gehna receive all things with blessing and you will be twice blessed. God is within you. I use that term because you are familiar with it. your subconscious assumes the feeling of your thoughts and actions and mirror and bounce back to you. Assume the feeling that God is within you even if your senses cause you temporarily to not understand... Live it and feel what it is like and it shall come to pass... for greater is he who is within than he who is without! Simply convince yourself of this and it shall soon follow that you will take notice.. Love Anthony- Actually- above post for gehna n/m Ayehasherayeh 21 y 2,052
- Edited Gehna
21 y
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This is a reply to # 499,006thanks for the comments Anthony, but I dont
believe God is within me. I dont want to believe
that he is within me, cause that is not what I feel.
There is so much out there to do with religion, psychic
beliefs, that it is UNREAL. I mean, so many claim to know
this and that, and yet, they are all different stories.
I believe... what I see, and I believe in my dreams.
Where they come from, I dont know. Possibly God... not sure.
Until he speaks to me, or shows me himself, I will not really
know. I like to think they are from God, and so I continue
to pray. I know they are sacred dreams, and the vision was sacred, that I suppose is all I need to know. They come from
a good source.
:)
Gehna
- Re: Tracey Ayehasherayeh
21 y
2,178
- Tracey Gehna
21 y
2,265
- Re: Yes Tracey
21 y
2,242
- Yes Gehna
21 y
2,125
- Re: Yes Tracey
21 y
2,129
- Yes Gehna
21 y
2,108
- Re: I dont believe that God is withi... #13442
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This is a reply to # 498,984If God wasn't within you, then what is it that keeps you alive..YOu would be dead. YOur body would be just a lump of flesh and bones without this existence..Cannot be separate from you. It is hard for some people to accept this..Because we are all thought or conditioned differently. You have to experience it for yourself.If you keep doubting then you can never grow as a soul...Give your self a chance and go with the flow and try to find that consciousness within yourself. YOu don't have to..but if you want to experience it, then try.
Good Luck- Re: I dont believe that God is withi... Lapis
21 y
2,150
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This is a reply to # 499,009Are you saying that god IS everything? Without SOURCE energy there is no experience? So then God is within, without, between etc?
That is my current perception but everyone is at a differnet level of awareness, none better than the rest. A child is no less inportant than a grand parent. Each is an imporatnt part of the overall expression of the life experience.
I find the bigest obstacel to expanding awareness is fear. Has that been your experience as well? - Please Gehna
21 y
2,218
This is a reply to # 499,009Please,
I am not here to be told that there is ONE way.
You are telling me that it is a fact that God is within
me or I would be a lump of flesh. Pleaaaaaaase.
Thought this was an open forum?
As well, no one knows that God is within.
Let us ALL stand on the same ground shall we????
I believe God to be a separate identity, and if that
is WRONG in your eyes, then so be it.
OK, this is not going to work, and I will say here,
that people are further ahead in their.. spiritual path
when they say... that there is never one way.
You are telling me that GOD has to be within, so that
is telling me, you need a little more work, and
have to be a little more open.
Geez, so much for forums.
Gehna- Re: Please Lapis
21 y
2,162
This is a reply to # 499,011Please,
I am not here to be told that there is ONE way.
You are telling me that it is a fact that God is within
me or I would be a lump of flesh. Pleaaaaaaase.
Thought this was an open forum?
As well, no one knows that God is within.
Let us ALL stand on the same ground shall we????
I believe God to be a separate identity, and if that
is WRONG in your eyes, then so be it.
OK, this is not going to work, and I will say here,
that people are further ahead in their.. spiritual path
when they say... that there is never one way.
You are telling me that GOD has to be within, so that
is telling me, you need a little more work, and
have to be a little more open.
Geez, so much for forums.
Gehna- You took the words out of my mouth..... daizy4 21 y 2,096
- Yes there are Gehna
21 y
2,134
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This is a reply to # 499,012yes there are Lapis.
I am not to come on here and tell me dreams anymore.
I am at a critical time in my healing, and am quite
easily hurt by critical comments at this time.
I really would have liked to share my dreams, but will
post later... all of them in one lump.
I beleive that things happen for reasons, and it is time
to tune into myself, as I know the answers.
I believe that at this time, now that this has happened,
it was meant to. I am to go and work quietly alone, heal
through my dreams and books, and blossom from within.
I am too open with my dreams, they are meant for me...
not to share like I have been. I believe this should now
be an intimate time with myself and God... and possibly
he will come to me again if I get back to meditation.
Be well, and may you rise higher. :)
Gehna- Re: Yes there are daizy4
21 y
2,128
This is a reply to # 499,016Gehna,
I wish you many blessings as you continue along your healing journey.......I too have experienced something similar, that I called what the mystics term as my "dark night of the soul" You are exactly where you should be....it is perfect......- Me too Lapis
21 y
2,155
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This is a reply to # 499,018I'll tell you about it another time.
Whne the soul stirs it really stirs.- To Lapis Gehna
21 y
2,123
This is a reply to # 499,019Hello Lapis,
Did you post your story on here? if not, would you like to tell me briefly, or maybe at a later date?
If you dont want to that is ok. :)
Gehna- Re: To Lapis Lapis
21 y
2,402
R
This is a reply to # 499,022My spiritual story is book length. If I were to leave anything out, the context is lost. Coles notes:
I was basically haunted with conditioning of the usual religious dogma that pervades many. It peaked with an experience whereby, out of total desperation, I communicated with god and found out that god was me, that it is all god, every plant, every breath, every molecule, everythought, everything. It was a very profound and calming experience. Since then I have little fear. Some prefer to use the term of source instead of God or "all that is" but it was a relief to me that I wasn't trapped in a game of soulmining after all from an evil dictator/creator. Others are still tormented though so we, collectively have a long way to go. When I still hear slogans like "Hell is hot, hot, hot" we have a very, very, long way to go.
Is this the tormented aspect of YOUR soul. Keep seeking answers. Leave no stone unturned. Truth is self evident and awarenss stems out of that.
Have a nice trip.
PS, how is your health condition? Are you into alternative health?
- Expand 20 messages, 21 to 40 of 54 Gehna
21 y
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- Re: To Lapis Lapis
21 y
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R
- To Lapis Gehna
21 y
2,123
- Me too Lapis
21 y
2,155
- Re: Yes there are daizy4
21 y
2,128
- Re: Please Lapis
21 y
2,162
- Re: I dont believe that God is withi... Lapis
21 y
2,150
- Re: I dont believe that God is withi... Tracey
21 y
2,379
Expand 14 messages, 41 to 54 of 54 Gehna
21 y
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