Kin,
"The truth of the matter is that I don't know that she did...wasn't there...
were you."
------------------------------------------------


"No. I was not. One can ask me- How come your so sure? How can I be so sure

that it was a "real " apparition of the Virgin Mary (whom I call Mother God)?

I am taking a stand. In other words I stand by a truth (even though at this point it

remains in the minds of most as; prove it to me; disprove it to me). I stand by

the evidence of a Goddess/Priestess; I feel it's the other half of a half making

a One."
==========================


Kin Gypsy,

There are certain things I've discovered as a result of having multiple NDEs. One of which is that
"all NDEs are not created equal." In fact, from what I can tell, the infinity of the infinite just keeps on
keepin' on, down one corridor after another, until IT Merges with the 1st manifestation of Source....which,
in my case, was represented as THE WOMAN WITHIN ALL MEN & WOMEN, who I've referenced as
The Mother of all Madonnas. I discovered that by LOVING the LOVE that emanated from HER, I was drawn
into the HEART of HER HEART...which was MY HEART, as well.
Further, Within the HEART OF THE HEART of LOVE LOVING LOVE, is THE LIGHT OF LIFE...ITSELF.
AND, I would BLESS THE INTENT that would INTEND IT SO.
Now, whether anyone believes (or has faith in) what I've said or not, doesn't alter the Truth that it is Real...
because IT IS...and the grandeur...and splendor...and exquisite, jaw droppin' magnificence is without parallel...
and pales anything I could possibly say, because I'm just not that good a wordsmith...and haven't read...ever
...anyone else that is either.

==========================




"What's the point of it all. I think it comes down to Faith."




==========================


Kin,

Now, this is a topic that has come up in our homehold more times than I can count.
Susan goes with faith...to the max. And, in all honesty, had I not had NDE, I have my doubts
that I coulda ever held onto the "darkest before the dawn" routine, anywhere near as well as her
or others who have remained integral enough to hold the line without, actually, passing beyond it and returning.
In fact, without having had the NDE, I'd have probably gone bitter with all the blood lettin' long ago...and been cold
to the touch of the word "faith," altogether.
Frankly, the NDE absconded with the luxury of choosing "to believe or have faith or hope," because
it made a KNOWER outta me...and, lemme tell ya, sometimes I've found that particular position really
sucks...and confuses...and has worn me weary with the wait. Obviously, I'm not a "rainbow, lollipop and roses"
kinda dead guy and have learned, the hard way, that many folks who come to their individual Life Crossroads
(like we all have) have chosen to go with the "dirty deeds done dirt cheap" motif. During the coursing of my
4th NDE, I learned that "Darkness is it's own reward," which seems fair enough and, in a sicko kinda way, sorta
satisfying. Feeling thusly, that probably makes me "The Ugly Dead Guy"...and, I'm just gonna have to live with that.
Nonetheless, I honestly marvel at those who can keep the faith when at times it seems like the word, itself, has
become a hollow promise from those who spit holier than thou rap outta one side of their mouth and huck
the greater glory of a tithe, from the other.
Elsewhere on this site, you've mentioned something to the effect about how "other people" may not believe I've had one NDE...
much less four. AND, to them, I would say (and it's taken me forever to get this point, incidentally), "I don't care anymore...
take it or leave...I ain't screwin' around hear...what I'm saying is the best that I know...and, believe me, after all the things that've
been said about me since I had my initial NDE 34 years ago...I can handle your rejection."

Furthermore, and this won't be well received, I've come to seriously doubt whether or not a lotta folks who lay claim to a NDE, have even had one. Let's face it, the NDE has become (in some corners) chic...cool....new-age groovy...and, now that it's gettin' mainstream acceptance, there are imposters out to clip some bread. It doesn't take a brain trust to realize there's a lotta folks who have become adept at "cut & pasting" all sorta Googled, philosophically oriented blah blah blah offa the Internet...and, than, "WHAMO," they (and their stuff) becomes the next " big thing." Now, one could, I suppose, rationalize that as long as "the new big thing" is sayin' "nicey nice" and promoting profound cosmic rap, then, "it's all good." However, my tendency, as The Ugly Dead Guy, is to drift toward taciturn, at times, and say, "Stolen Thunder, MisDirects the Lightening."...and would suggest "caution" (nice way to put it, huh?) before "buyin' in," because there's a buncha bozo's ridin' off the sincerity of others and ain't nothin pretty about the way the pontificated profiteers go about pandering paradigms for the sake of fleecin' the flock and cashin' in on all the concessions that go along with the Religion Racket.

===========================



"For faith is like an invisible thread that inter weaves all things.

The question might not even be, is it "real" or not, but rather what makes people

move...towards an apparition (leave aside the people justly blindly following

other people OPINION) for one minute."



===========================
Kin,

"POPPED A PICTURE ALERT."
That's what Susan and I call it around here when some somthin' gets said and the immediate, internal result is a
holographic image (complete with a 360 degree insta-scan) streams forcefully into one's awareness and
just screams a "heads up," because there's an energetic emerging that matches a previous lesson learned or a
knowing that got known. Without reading further, I see we move into the realm of INTENT and I couldn't agree more.

===========================


"If we take Bosnia- it's people are: 1/2 Muslim, 1/3 Serbs, 20% Croats, 37,000

refugees from Bosnia living in Germany: Diaspora:breaking up and scattering of a

people. Could it be that the Priestess is trying to console the heart/hurt of the

people by drawing them together (cuz the gathering of people is an ACTION of

coming together (+ INTENT)."
============================

Kin,

I'm reminded of the flick "Zardoz" wherein the lead character, Sean Connery, states, "IAM the idea behind the idea."
In this instance, mayhap, INTENT came first...and the people gathered thereafter. Either way, what you suggest sounds
plausible...and I would Bless the INTENT that would INTEND IT SO.
I'm gonna go deeply into my personal life, insofar as a response be concerned. I'm gonna tell ya
about the SynchLinked POP A PICTURE ALERT thing that happened when I read this post and the
reasons "WHY" this curezone conversation flashed into/onto a serendipitous matrix that I can speak
too byway of personal experience, rather than theoretical hypothesizing.

In general, this is the sorta thing I'd imagined goin' into the Blog Section of on my own website, but it dovetail's
so wondrously into what I'm about to say, that I just gotta speak my peace. Because I get to talk more
colorfully with all those "naughty words" that the curezone staff will bleep outta here, this story might lose some of
it's flavor. Yet, the INTENT remains the same...and this is what I've got to share:

Too my way of lookin' at things, the NDE is gonna effect each initiate in it's own way. Probably the
decisions NDErs make, insofar as living their own lives, are bound to be as individual as the experience
is communal. Tucked tight into the Heart of IT is the certain knowledge that there ain't no lines on
the front line, 'cause the frontline is a circle...and where the dead have walked (especially when traversing the VOID)
ya do it alone and discover that INSIDE WITHIN INTENDING INTENT LOVE LOVING LOVE IS THE LIGHT.

Yet, during the coursing of my NDE, when I was coming to terms with all the stuff that made up who I thought I was,
it got ugly...way ugly. The great unmasking of all my dirty little secrets and misaligned priorities came slappin' me
back in my face and I came to my knees with a whimper...long after the hoot and hollerin' was done. It changes ya,
forever...and things can never be the same...they just can't. More so, because it ain't static...the after effects go on and on.
For me, I took to livin' a life that saw me gettin' into some weird places. There's been guns and jungles and jails and
Whales and a White Buffalo named Miracle. For now, I'm gonna tell ya "why" it's the Whales that drew
me to a Miracle..that I never even saw...until after I didn't see Her.

Back in time, when the comets were hittin' Jupiter and the White Buffalo got born, I was runnin' hot with the Merge
of the NDE. With an actively meditative focus, I arranged my assemblage points in a singular stream of INTENDING INTENT
and was burnin' with the fever of synapsal firestorms that were kickin' loose like grapes thru a goose. We've all
had times of accelerated learning/Lifing...and this was one of 'em for me. Some may call it "vision questing"...others might
reference it, "just plain crazy." From my way of wordology, I call it a "run'...and, from past experience, Life can "Go Interactive"
with my brand of jumpin' off the mesa...messy or not. It's personal, sure, we've all done it from time to time and got slapped,
knocked down and gotten back up...because Crossroads are like that...and, sometimes the road less traveled can get bumpy before
the farwood clears.

Nonetheless, during this period, I was exploring (byway of humbling up to horizontal lines of communication) telempathetic holographic
insights/exchanges with the Dolphin/Whale pods at the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago. Based on the holographic downloads
I received, I came to realize that Blessing Water was somethin that outta be taken seriusly...but that's another entry
...and I'll get to that, probably in my Blog) sooner or later. Yet, as an informational sidebar, I'd recommend J. Allan Boone's book
(A Kinship With All Life) as a primer for one's philosophical pump if they really wanna tap into where I'm goin' with the next few
paragraphs.

Anyway, The Birth of the White Buffalo was a "thing" for me...it just felt "right"...it felt "reverent"..and "REAL". Knowing people were
flockin' to the site in Janesville, Wisconsin, I avoided goin' anywhere near the place. I figured when the time came for me
to go, I'd get "called/intuited" and, hopefully, wouldn't have to contend with a crowd because, I figured, the initial "charm" woulda worn off
and I could get some privacy. Besides, insofar as animal totems be concerned, I was gettin' a lotta up close and personal
time in with the White Whales at the Shedd Aquarium and felt comfortable with the progress I was making in learning about being a little kind. I figured I could do that anywhere I was and didn't feel a need to get myself all worked up over not paying my physical respects to the White Calf in South Wisconsin.

Too continue, shortly after I returned from Palanque in Jan '95, I'd gotten a call from a dear friend of mine in Chicago who informed
me that some dolphins had died at the Aquarium and, knowing how important they were to me, he felt I outta know. I hit the
road runnin' the next morning and figured maybe I could help...ya know...just do somethin.' I hadn't been to the Shedd in a couple
months and what I found was deplorable...just so screwed up it made me wanna cry. The pools were filthy, the pods were listless
and still...STILL...the human refuse that ran the place were rackin' in the bucks making these beautiful creatures perform in
their daily horse & pony shows for the prollies. Something was wrong...dead wrong...and I stormed into the head administrator's
office with a fury that was based on concern and fear...because I was afraid. I was afraid that somehing had to be done fast or there
was gonna be a lot more bloated corpses found floating in what was turning out to be an interactive Stephen King novel.
Now, at that time, the Shedd's Director was some gussied up chick who musta had a fortune tied up in her outfit. She reminded me of some high priestess from Bloomingdales and each nuance screamed, "Look at me...look at me."

Our little exchange began with me saying, "What's going on here? The dolphins and whales are, obviously, seriously ill, the pools
are awash in fecal material and you continue making them jump thru hoops for a buck."
Little Miss Fashion Statement replied, "Were doing everything we can and are having the experts look into it."
I fired back, "Maybe they outta try looking into changing that filthy water and giving them a rest for starters. And, after that, find
out what they've been eating."
To this, Heir Administrator contritely responded, "You've really got negative vibes" and fromped away in her $300 high heel shoes.
Before she had the opportunity to call the cops, I left and pondered my next move...because she didn't have a clue...and I didn't
know what to do.

Outside, while sitting on the shore of the Great Lake Michigan, I aligned myself with the INTENT to open a horizontal line
of telempathetic communication with the pods. In a "Flash," I knew that if I felt to be a caretaker, I ought go to the Janesville and see what Miracle's people had to offer. This made perfect sense to me because there seemed to be an underneath the stare, etheric sorta link which existed within/between the idea of the beluga, White Whales, and the White Buffalo Calf, that "felt" to "match." There "felt"
to be "an archtypically, synchronistic alliance", if you will, that I couldn't ignore. So I headed west, then north, to see what Presented in Presence of the Present. Serendipitous dots, Kin...just connectin' dem dots.

Long before, I'd clipped a newspaper article which gave me the information on how to find the the farm where the White Buffalo was born. And, although Janesville Wisconsin seemed like an odd place for something of this alleged magnitude to have occurred, I'd seen weird before and took it for what it was worth. In this case, it was worth another round of expletives and listening to myself mutter, "Man, ya can't make stuff like this up."

I missed the exit the first time thru and ended up at a gas station south of Madison to ask for directions. Discovering the locals had become accustomed to lots of other folks doin' the same thing, the attendant told me where the Heider Farm was located, but that I wouldn't be able to see the calf, because the caretakers had called off visits to the tourist attraction until the following summer.

Neat, huh? Here Iam, runnin' on intuitive impulses that are directly attributed to the NDE and comin' to a another chunk in the road. Now, I know this is gonna be looked upon by most normal (whatever THAT means) people as "way out there." to begin with. But, at this point I ain't lookin' for anyone's approval...'cause I'm on a run...and for those who here my words...I dedicate the following to you.

Anyway, knowing that my path was gonna meet with more obstacles, resulted in more muttering...more expletives...and the need to start tryin' to figure out how I'm gonna introduce myself to the farm folk and get past the unwelcome sign. I didn't figure communicating with the White Buffalo would be anymore difficult than when I began workin' with the Whales. All I needed to do was "Flash On" the LIGHT of the NDE via a merged, empathetic holograph...and events would take off from there. Yet, it was the people thing...and my personality thing...that made me anxious when considerin' bangin' on the front door of the caretakers' dwelling and findin' the pearl of wisdom that waited in the White.

The country road leading up to the farm came to a "T" and I hadda take a hard right hand turn or I'd have rolled into the river that fronted Miracle's home base. A couple doors down, and past a few large signs that said, "No White Buffalo VIsitors Until Spring" (or some such), I came to a stop. These were humble abodes, not flashy...just solid and about what you'd expect from workin' people who made a living outside the city...away from big towns. A final sip of coffee, a couple quick drags from my cigarette and I exited my truck just in time to see some old woman coming barging outta the front door and begin dressin' me down.

"You're not supposed to be here," she said, "Didn't you read the signs...you can't see the White Buffalo."
I didn't mention to Mrs. Heider that I had, indeed, been reading "the signs" ever since I got a phone call about dead dolphin floatin' belly up in a man made pool of water bordering the shores of Lake Michigan. Instead, because I was "all in" and didn't know what else to do, I simply responded, "Is that it...is that all you've got to say to me?"
AND, than, a hush fell over the crowd, because where it went from there was up for grabs...and in that NOW, that very moment, a Spirit Thing breeched the walls of illusion and Divine Interactivity swam thru the veil.

We held each others gaze for what seemed like a long, long time and, finally, she said, " The Calf and Mother are tired...they've got to have some rest...but, if you want, you can say a prayer over at the horse rail where people have placed their well wishes."
Initially I didn't know what she was talkin' about. When I entered the property, my attention was focused on a "what next" basis (plus a buncha "go away" placards) and I missed whatever it was she was referring. So I asked. "Where's this place?"
"It's right over there," she pointed, "in the side yard."
I thanked her...expressed my appreciation for watchin' out for the Calf...and followed her directions, a short walking distance, to a sight that I'll never forget.

Now, these rails were where the Native American Indians had tied up their horses. A bunch of these folks had ceremonially riddin' from wherever they lived, all the way to this place. And the glory...the just plain good...of their INTENTIONS rolled thru me like thunder across an open meadow. Others, who had driven cars...or riddin' buses...or Harley Davidsons, had, in honor of the Calf, also tied the horses (IN THE FORM OF INTENT) to these rails, as well, And there were prayer scarves, dream catchers, and totems attached everywhere...everywhere. I saw dreams..and hopes...and prayers...and well wishes...and a faith...a faith in something...somehow...coming in the form of this White Buffalo that'd begin the beginning of a good thing... and, just maybe, things would get better...and everythin' would be OK.

Inside of the inside of me, I knew to BLESS (humbly appreciate) THE INTENT THAT WOULD INTEND IT SO....because THAT'S what the whole thing was about. And, in that moment, I thought, "If I can bring the holograph of the White Whales into this moment...and wish they receive the same rest the White Calf needs via the combined energetic of the two superimposed with the INTENT OF INTENT of ONE on the OTHER...then the energy will run to the shores of Lake Michigan...and everything would, indeed, be OK...or, at the least, I did my honest to GOD best to lay the lines that'd carry the flow of the best that I know...and LOVING THE LOVE of The Gathered.


Later, on the road north to the place where I listened to the White Buffalo Calf Woman tell me stuff that I was never meant to hear,
I thought about how I was gonna find a place where I could say the things I'd learned from the Whales at the Shedd Aquarium. I think this is the place and so would share (as a NDEr) that should ya ever wanna get Christ-like and walk on water without gettin' yer feet wet...do it with DIRECTED INTENTFULNESS...just breath your well wishes into the liquid crystals...and in alteration, it just might make for a chain/change reaction that'll make things better...for anyone, and everyone that swims in it...or drinks of it.


============================


"Skepticism/ in the Merriam Web. Dictionary one finds words such as disposition,

doubt concerning basic religious principles (as immortality, providence,

revelation). It sounds like we 1st hear from skeptics within people's

religious priciples ~and then~ a ripple effect whereby everyone has a little (or a

a lot) of skepticism in them ( and I say: to figure out)."

=============================



Kin,

"What came first, the chicken or the egg."
In most cultures, we're all philosophically brainwashed (in one "religious system" or another) from birth...and, rather then skepticism bbeing considered in a, somewhat, derogatory light as Merriam might suggest, I don't. Ya see, for me, it's not about one's "disposition" as an "attitude" which is frozen in an Amazing Randi persona, and, instead, if applied in a healthy manner, is freeing from the shackles which bind one to some metaphysic status quo entrenched in the authority (glitzy costumes and all) of others peoples' interpretation of "what it is."
My dog taught me this lesson when I was 5 years old. I'll Blog to this story at another time, For now, though, I've taken up plenty of bandwidth already and other responsibilities call.


==============================

"So. You can be religious and doubt/be a skeptic and state that there is no

providence. To me that doesn't make sense. There is a link missing."


==============================


Kin,

Seems to me that one can be "religious" AND a "critical thinker" at the same time. If expressing a healthy "head's up" kinda skepticism feels uncomfortable to you, maybe you misunderstood my Intentions...or, on the other hand, I mighta just been havin' a bad hair day and was more forceful than I coulda been. Nevertheless, perhaps the missing link you mention is the INTENT behind the intent...and there was never any desire, whatsoever, to nullify one's faith in Providence that I'm aware of.

==============================



"If a person says- there is no apparition- I don't have a problem- at least

it is clear.

At what point does one move within or beyond their skepticism. It's almost as if:

if the skeptic doesn't move beyond this point then their beliefs will challenge

them."

==============================


Kin,

I'm not convinced that having one's beliefs challenged is a bad thing. Based on my NDE's rendition of transversing the VOID, I'd say one's preconceived notions will, eventually, end up staring 'em in the face, anyway, and, from my perspective, ya might as well get the show on the road before the final curtain call. It appears you believe that can be done by ignoring/discounting the benefits of "critical thinking" and "discernment." I don't.



==============================


***

"I'd like to wrap this whole thing up by stating my personal motto I try to live

by- taken from

LEO TOLSTOY:

Until you do what you believe in, you don't know whether you believe it or not."

***
===============================


Kin,

I don't recall ever reading any of Leo's stuff, but have my own personal motto I try to life my live by.
It goes like this:
Ifever, whenever, the time comes wherein I meet up with Ol' St. Pete at dem Pearly Gates...and should he try to tell me
I didn't do the best I could while living a life here on planet earth, I wanna be able to look the dude straight in the eye and say, "Hey,
if you think you coulda done a better job based on the cards dealt ya...then get down there and do it yourself."
Frankly, I don't think we'll need to have this conversation, because if St. Pete's as good as he thinks he is, he'll already know I'm OK...
and have kept on keepin' on.


===============================



"Palenque: now that sounds like some interesting reading. Don't know much about it."



===============================

Kin,

Perhaps you'd be interested in knowing that Palanque has roots that run to Egypt...and showed me that the diamond shape that you've
referenced concerning the construction of the original dream catchers', refer to Orion...and The Smoke in the Universe.


===============================


KIN


================================

INTEND INTENT...LOVE LOVE




ps. Not long after the events transcribed herein took place, a small article appeared in one of the two major Chicago Newspapers. Buried
in the back pages was a notice that explained that the dolphins death was the result of the aquarium management tryin' to shave/save/make a few bucks by buying decayed and mercury tainted fish food from some cheap shot Mediterranean importer. The remainder of the cetaceans regained their health when proper nourishment was afforded them.