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I have had the same problem with my mother. Your last statement was the most accurate statement of why she is so difficult to talk to. She is an unreasonable person (insists on being stupid, not just PLAYING stupid, there actually is no difference, not anymore, the habit of PLAYING stupid has become a condition and part of her personality). If you try to reason with an unreasonable person, you will lose because PROPER and EFFECTIVE communication requires a 'meeting of the minds', meaning that you have to 'be on the same page' as each other.

If you do something and she says "You can't do that' (obviously, you already did it), tell her "then, I just did the impossible". It was completely obvious to her that you did what she said can't be done, but she disregarded that fact in order to cause controversy and arguement, not because she really didn't realize that you did it, but because she NEEDS (not just wants) to start controversy and arguement in order to find a way to make believe that she is better than you (nobody is better THAN anybody, maybe 'better off' or they behave in a better manner or someone becomes better than they were because they learned from the experience). If you are a good person and have principles, people will see that and feel jealous if they don't have principles (you will put them to shame). They will look for a way to 'chop you down to size' (their size), they will look for a way to impose shame, guilt, humiliation or intimidation on you. This is why she NEEDS controversy and arguement (so she can NEGOTIATE you into shame and put you in "your" place, control). That one comeback will teach her to think, and as long as you don't back down (make a habit out of standing up to her), she will learn to respect you and give you the respect that is due a stranger (common basic human respect).

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry that is going on for you. Wow.

Maybe one vote is "Oooh, it is so sweet of you to want to protect me. I know that your intentions are good."

(I actually think that parents do want to protect us, but many show it in dismal ways. "Maybe my child will never have to suffer like I did if I just keep kicking her down. Then she will never have to take the risk of seeing her hopes disappointed."

Again, I'm very sorry, very glad that you see through it.
Undoubtedly other people on this forum can come up with other options too!

A

how about, "I'm so glad I can count on you for encouragement."

The other people who have responded to your message are saints! I personally would bring out the big guns, use the "F" word. Dropping the "F" bomb ususally suprises the oppressor, then leaves him/her speachless. The more you use the mighty "F" the less it has an effect, so go easy. I hate to encourage anyone to say that to their mother, but sounds like she has it coming. Sheeesh.

Goodbye.

It's best to be honest and direct. You don't want to sugarcoat your comments or try to find the perfect comeback. Instead, tell the other person how you feel and why you're upset.
You should also avoid saying things like "I'm sorry" or "I shouldn't have said that." These words may be used in an attempt to soften a blow, but they often just make the situation worse. Instead, say what you mean: "I'm frustrated with my performance right now." If your target is a subway surfers coworker, take it one step further by saying, "We need to talk wordle online about my lack of focus lately."