Crisis.  A word we hate to hear.  This can encompass almost anything, child molestation, abuse, depression, drug addiction, illness, and the list goes on.  A crisis is a very individual and personal issue, a crisis is life altering and devastating.

In my work with crisis situations in the past, I came to realize that when a family member undergoes their own personal crisis.  It doesn't stop there.  It affects the ones that are closest to them.  Those who go through their own turmoil while their loved one is suffering.  While trying to cope with or take care of the problem, the family members are too close to the problem, too emotionally involved, to assess the situation in its proper perspective.  Under extreme duress, they undergo their own emotional crisis, often to be ignored, left by the wayside so to speak.  In order to deal with a crisis, not only the person in crisis must be addressed, but the entire family unit.  They must be addressed, both individually and as a whole.

When one family member is in trouble, the entire family unit suffers. Relate this to a toothache.  Although it is just a tooth that is affected, it wears down the entire body, to the point that the person is not able to function.

I will use the example of child molestation.  The child in crisis must be attended to immediately.  However, during this process, the mother has undergone her own emotional turmoil.  The sole focus is on the child.  Yet, in order to achieve complete healing, the mother cannot be forgotten.  Her need for healing, although different, is as great as the child's.    Such a crisis not only scars the child, but also scars the mother.

The immediate family member finds themselves needing to stay strong for their loved one.  They are forced to "keep it together" where they do not have the strength to do so.  In essence, they become another victim to the crisis in question.

Many times, a loved one feels that they have no choice but to handle the matter at hand alone.  It is important that they seek help.  Help will, most likely, not come knocking at your door.  Yet, there is another factor in not seeking help.  The desire to keep the "crisis" hidden.  Seeking the advice, help, and support from a trusted family member or friend is paramount.  Yet, this too has its drawbacks.  Many have been in positions where this method has "backfired," causing added injury.  Case in point, referring back to the child molestation issue.  I once worked with a lady who made the mistake in confiding in a friend, the result being that the friend relayed this information to everyone she knew, causing untold emotional damage.  A "trusted" source is of paramount importance.