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Tuesday, May 17
Day 7
Date: 5/18/2005 10:41:37 AM ( 19 y ) ... viewed 1987 times Tuesday, May 17) I do often listen to music or sermons online. I've often thought that God has blessed me so much! In what other generation could a person listen to great, Godly sermons any time, any place they wanted? It's a glorious blessing!
But when I'm sick, I've found that reading is my best meditation catalyst. Even yesterday, I read just one chapter of Andrew Murray's _Abide in Christ_ and took one sentence out of it that I knew the LORD wanted me to think upon.
I wrote that sentence down, and then took the thought into prayer. During the day, I'd often just go back in my thoughts and meditations to that one, simple sentence from the book of John. I tried to connect that thought of abiding to every aspect of my daily experience.
It's all that I was really able to do, yet this morning, I have such a fuller, more complete, deeper idea of what that principle of abiding in Christ is.
So I'm the richer for it.
When sick or scattered, if I listen to tapes, the tape rushes on without me through the usual three points <grin>, and I get confused and forget what the first and second points were.... 
I'll get back to the tapes by and by. Like I mentioned...what a blessing they are for our generation!
The fast is going well, pretty effortless, actually. In the afternoon I began to feel that 'abandoned' feeling I sometimes get when I cannot eat. Since I comfort myself with food, when I don't eat, I often face a type of 'abandonment' feeling when fasting. It's pretty bleak and lonely.
I 'abided', and the feeling gradually faded into the reality that I am definitely NOT alone, nor comfortless. I am abiding in Christ, and He in me, and we in God! I continued to repeat the fact despite the lack 'good feeling emotion' to accompany it. My 'inner child' got frightened, but Jesus was right there with comfort and peace.
I soon got through the surge of fear emotions and was able to rest in Him. _THEN_ I went out to the kitchen and made a nice juice, with carrots, an apple, red swiss chard, and one red beet. Delicious! The good feeling emotion _followed_ drinking the juice. Emotions are powerful, but God is ALL powerful. I'll follow Him, whether my emotions follow or not.
Today is my post op appointment, the first of many. My drains are not ready to be removed quite yet. They are a REAL humbling pain in the side, believe me!  They have become my marker. When I finally get them removed, I will begin to walk...gradually at first, but more and more each day.
Until then, I'll do total rest, except for some mild stretching.
I can't WAIT to walk!
It should only be a matter of two or three days until I can take that first little walk in this beautiful spring weather. YIPEE!
And I'lll know my pathology reports today or tomorrow, too. That'll be another closure, I hope!
I'm reading a LOT more than I am writing, so many of you who are fasting or have replied to me -- know this: I am praying for you, too! It just hurts too much to write just yet, so the majority of my effort is put into this journal. Be aware, though, I'm praying and fellowshipping with you as well as talking about myself! <big hug> | | |
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