Who I am and why I am cleansing...
Date: 6/8/2006 5:30:42 AM ( 14 y ) ... viewed 2431 times
I am sorry to say that I was unable to upload a picture of myself :-( I am waiting on a responce from the webmaster detailing why I was unable to. I wanted to show you guys my smiling face, which for the passed several years my smiles have been few and far between. What follows is a brief description of my life:
I was born in Texas, moved to Florida at the age of 2 years old, and have lived in and around the Tampa Bay area ever since. I cannot imagine living anywhere else in the world!!! I am in love with the beauty that surrounds me. Florida is as close as you can get to the tropics within the USA.
As a child I suffered sexua| abuse at the hands of my grandfather which led to me being an introverted, reclusive, shy, and angry little girl. I never really trusted anyone and the toll this abuse took on my self esteem caused me to make MANY bad decisions in my life. I am fairly intelligent, but chose to do poorly in school. I guess I never really felt like I was worth anything or that I would ever be truly happy. I began to abuse drugs, became an alcoholic, and smoked over 2 packs of cigarettes a day. I can look back now with my new found mental clarity and know that I was self medicating, constantly altering my mood to avoid feeling lost, alone, scared, and angry.
One thing I thank God for is my parents, who I never hid my "goings on" from. We are a completely open and honest family, sometimes too honest :-) !!! But my father and I had a certain bond that I will be hard pressed to find in another human being. His sudden and completely unexpected passing in 2000 (he died suddenly of a heart attack at 50 years old, just 6 months after his doctor gave him a clean bill of health after a complete physical) caused me to spiral even further down into the depths of my depression and I then developed acute anxiety disorder. There was never a day that went by that I wasn't "self-medicating". I lost a staggering 60 pounds in 8 months!!! My anxiety disorder was completely consuming every moment of my life because the side-effects of an anxiety disorder can lead to the belief that you are going to die of a heart attack, which only scares you even more and makes the symptoms worse.
In August of 2001 I was admitted into the hospital. I had gotten into such sad shape that I could eat nothing for two weeks, had begun to live off of juice and water, and shortly before my admission to the hospital, I couldn't keep water down, and was vomiting blood. My doctors told me that my blood had become extremely acidic, and the only example they could give me was that of a Holocaust victim. I spent a week in the hospital, trying to accept the diagnosis of an anxiety disorder, because up until this point I was convinced I was dying of heart failure.
Between August of 2001, and March of 2003 my life was in limbo. My anxiety disorder completely consumed me. I could no longer drive, which I love to do, I never wanted to leave the house, and I no longer cared about anything. I refused to take the drugs the doctors prescribed for fear of the side-effects. But on March 17, 2003 (the day the war started) God answered my prayers. I found out that I was to be a mother, and I knew in that instant that it was time to change. She deserved a responsible mother, and an acceptable role model. I have been clean now for 3 years!!! My daughter literally saved my life!!!
I have recently overcome my anxiety disorder through the help of Lucinda Bassett's program "Attacking Anxiety and Depression". I can drive again!! I'm no longer afraid to leave the house. The program explained away all my fears over my body symptoms, and taught me how to overcome my anxious thinking.
Being fully recovered from my obcessive thoughts I was still worried about the effects that sugar, chocolate, and juices had on my heart. Whenever I consume any of these things my heart will pound very hard for a few hours, or sometimes it feels like it does a flip-flop in my chest. I was referred to a cardiologist who did a stress test, and series of ECG's, an Ultra Sound of my heart, and had me wear an "event recorder" for a month. His diagnosis was that my heart is perfectly healthy and what I am feeling is an extra heart beat which is "nothing to worry about". But in doing some research online I found that I could be suffering from adrenal exhaustion due to the many years I abused my body with drugs and alcohol. I began to search the web for "natural remedies" to help combat this problem, and I stumbled across "The Master Cleanser". I know in my heart that God answered my prayer again by leading me to curezone, and I thank Him daily for it.
I have set my sights on 40 days because that is what I think it will take to purge all of these toxins from my body. It will give my adrenals a rest and possibly allow them to "reset" themselves. And in the course of my healing process I am hoping for spiritual enlightenment.
So that's my story. I hope I haven't offended anyone with my openness and honesty. I feel like a weight has been lifted by sharing my story with all of the wonderful people on this forum. I have been as honest as possible so that I can share my detox syptoms with all of you as they come. God Bless you all!!! And thank you for all of your support!!!
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