Thanks for that advice. I do believe it is a deep, deep problem; probably from her dad abandoning her but she will not admit it nor is she about to cry. Only one time over a period of many years has she ever admitted that she has a problem; but there were no details of what she thought it was. Counseling only works to the point that the counselor makes any comment that she has a problem then she turns on the counselor and doesn't want to listen any longer. However, if the counselor makes any statement about what I need to improve it becomes a big issue; you know, like it is all my fault. After a long period of time that she spent rejecting me and telling me she had no feelings for me it got to the point that I carried her to her mother's assuming it was all over. The next morning she was calling me and wanting to come back. Another time she left but again wanted to come back. Although she comes back it gets back to the same old attitude. I just cannot understand how anyone's brain works like this.

Your advice is probably what she needs, but this is not me. I will go the extra mile to try and solve the problem although I now believe it will never be fixed. My thinking has been I can always get out but may never have the chance to fix the problem if I get out. I do have quite a few years invested in this and may have waited too long to make the change.
Thanks for your advice.