As you get older the motors and gears tend to not respond as well.
Bee Pollen, believe it or not, has been known to pump things up.

Here's a source for the best pollen that I know of.
http://www.ccpollen.com/contents.shtml

If you haven't had pollen before, you have to start out having just a little and increase the amount from there. Otherwise you get a stomach ache.

doesn't sound like there is anything wrong with you... just sounds like you need to be a little more in tune... perhaps it may take some time to adjust... but...

if you really put all your focus/attention into pleasing her... try being so totally into her that you are aware of precisely where she is at... her breathing... her heartbeat... her rhythm... and all the while... the more you are into her... the easier it is for you to restrain your excitement... and being absolutely focused on building/stoking her fire... in tune with...listening/feeling/waiting on her cresendo... and when it happens you will be unable to contain yourself any longer when she reaches her peak... and "the two will come together as one"... afterall... isn't that what true love is all about...

when you really become more tuned into her... then you'll know how to whisper those little sweet nothings of encouragement to get her to climb higher... and higher... and higher... building the fire a little hoter... and hotter... till neither of you are able to hold back any longer... and that is when you get the absolute max from her... then... neither of you will be able to even think seconds... there simply want be any need to... you will both be drained/spent...

the bummer for me is that after making love i feel so relaxed that all i want to do is go to sleep... yet it has stimulated her so much that she is wide awake and wants to talk... so... i fight off the sleepy feeling and stay awake and talk to her...
but... after we have been talking for awhile i become wide awake and she goes to sleep... leaving me hoot owl awake with no one to talk to... bummer huh...

oh well...
no one said life would always be perfect...
lol...
;-)

dont think about the sex, just let yourself go and kiss, hug, caress, lick, touch her, and then slowly undress her, kiss all over her body and make your way to her Pussy. The tease her for a while but enjoy yourself, fondle her breastes too, finally start to kiss, lick and suck her down there but do it slowly and passionately....then the time comes for you to penetrate her and start intercourse, do it slowly at first so you get used to the feeling of being inside her, she will love it and already be totally turned on. Go slow and if you feel about to cum, then stop all movement or pull out and start fingering her and playing around some more. hold your dick in your nad and play with it to desensitize it a little. have more oral sex, let her suck on you...finger her. Then when you are ready go at it again, keep doing her increasing or decreasing the intensity as you can so you dont cum. Pull out again to calm down as many times ad you need to. I just tell her, oh baby it feels so good inside you, slow down ok...I dont wanna cum... just be vocal but sexual at the same time, its fun. If you cant get it up for a second round it could be one, you are both putting too much pressure on it so you get nervous, or you have a low testosterone level for some reason. Anyways, dont worry about it so much. Just perform as you can and communicate, have fun... I'm tellin you I dont have a problem with it and I have never had a complaint about it if I did I would appreciate it because I wanna know how she feels.. Dont take it too seriously. Talk about it together and be comfortable. If you are nervous during sex you need to relax and enjoy it more, that could be the problem.

Goood luck

thanks for all the good input. It helps to hear it from others that aren't directly involved. You guys are great!!

I think you are beating yourself up unnecessarily. Kevin gives some good advice...additionally, there are techniques to slow yourself down. Why not work on that aspect?

Help is here.
A lot of guys can get almost there and then it just goes away. Even the first time can be tough. It's totally frustrating. The real problem is HEAT along with over stimulation. Heat becomes the enemy of erections and all the stimulation in the world won't help. You can get aroused sometimes, but upon entry, her body heat soaks in and your erection dies..right?

A simple solution...so simple and so cool,and it works..... you'll wonder why you didn't think of it. At that moment after round one, tell her to keep her motor running and run right into the bathroom and take a wash cloth with ice cold water and "wash" up. Do this until your testicles are tight up against your body, usually less than 5 minutes. Then try again. You'll be surprised at how well this works to perk things up! This works well with ANY kind of sexual stimulation when there is an erection problem because excess heat is involved..please come back and let us know.
You'll thank me later!

this doesn't really help, but at least you come, tell her to be happy with that ;)