I listened to the link Monica provided...

http://www2.oprah.com/tows/after/tows_after_landing.jhtml


and this soooo resonated with me. I do wish I knew Marianne Williamson was on that show. I would have made sure to watch it. I think she is an awesome speaker. I heard her speak at an Easter service in an old church in Detroit, last year. She moved me to tears!

At any rate, I was telling Monica yesterday (well this morning) that I was feeling bored and 'blah' yet as I went on, I realized the 'blah' is actually lack of enthuasiam. As well I am lacking adventure in my life, right now.

I realize it is time to 'sit with me' and yet I believe I fear this. When I went to this spiritual get together almost 2 weeks ago, I released the fear. Yet, I have not sat with myself. I am always finding something else to do...even if it is just wasting time on the computer. As well I understand A_H, says (not verbatum) not to do, when you are not there (or something like that) BUT I have not had motivation in far too long! I have not 'been there' in a while. I am not depressed yet sometimes I feel as if I am losing my mind. I can be elated most of the day, and when I come home (or am home) to do what is necessary around here, I just feel 'blah'!

Please do not quote me Abe's sayings. Right now, I need experiences OR suggestions to find what and why I am not motivating. I am in NEED (yes I know a bad word) of understanding WHY I have no motivation and why life is so boring and blah! AND most of ALL, why I will NOT sit with myself!

Can anyone help me, with ideas? I do not expect you to know my mind or such, I am just looking for something to 'hit home'. The after show did, yet it just repeated what I know...to STOP AND LISTEN TO INSIDE...NOT OUTSIDE INTERFERENCES~!

Thank you all for being here.

Be in Joy (which I can be, or at least fake it, most of the time ;D)

Beth