Throughout history, the central feature of conservatism is the internalized notion that the wealthy are better people than those who are not wealthy.
Which conservative said that? Perhaps some of the wealthy are more powerful but not necessarily better.
I could no longer believe there were others who were inherently more evil or good than I was.
You don't believe that twisted evil thoughts exist in the hearts of some?
All of our efforts to defend order and control will vanish in a moment.
That violates one of the conservative principles in my original post. It is an undeniable truth. Power always falls into someone else's hands no matter how much you try to control or vanish it.
You are obviously not a bad person. I wish you well. I wish I had more time to debate everything here. I will be back.