He does not understand what it means to be married!
When two people chose to marry each other, they chose to give their own body to the person they love.
What does it mean?
It means that if she wants sex, and he doesn't, he still gives her his body for her pleasure. It is his duty as a husband. Sex helps keep the peace in the house.
Sex helps keep the genes in the house ... so kids don't endup with neighbors genes.
Sex helps keep health in the house, so both of them don't endup with STD.
Sex helps keep sanity of the house.
Sex is so important, that in old times... it was written in stone:
His body belongs to her, her body belongs to him.
There is no: "I am not in a mood."
Who the fxck asks you if you are in the mood or not?
Take of your clothes and give to your partner what belongs to her/him.
If you have said "I do" ... it means ... you do what you have to do.
It will be up up to her to get his instrument up, it will be up to her to do the movements, but he has no right to say no.
Not unless he is half dead.
Not unless he is sick.
The same is true for the other sex.
The marriage, (unless 2 people made some different agreement), the marriage means giving your body to a person you love, until death or some other higher power takes you apart.
So, when I read about men who are frustrated with their wives who don't want sex, or the other way around ... I say ... you did not make the right agreement.
Before you marry a person, please make an agreement in writing.
Both parties should sign the agreement.
What should be specified in that agreement?
Everything that is important, but the most important is to specify who is the head in the house when it comes to disagreements about anything.
Head's job is to make decision when 2 adults can't agree about important things.
An example of marriage agreement:
We will have 3 kids, if health allows.
We will visit in-laws not more often then every xx months.
We will invite in-laws to visit us not more often then every xx years.
We will share all the money we earn.
We will have sex 5 - 25 times a week.
Each one owes the body of the another person.
If she wants sex, his duty is to let her use his body, even when "he is not in the mood". If he wants sex, her duty is to let him use her body, even when "she is not in the mood".
There is no such a thing as "not in the mood" for sex.
The head of the house:
She is the head of the house in case of disagreement about architecture of their future new house.
She is the head of the house in case of disagreement about where to go to a vacation together.
He is the head of the house in case of disagreement about a city where they are going to live in, in case they ever have to move from the place where they live now.
He is the head of the house in case of disagreement about a car model they are going to purchase.
She is the head of the house in case of disagreement about diet and health of their kids.
She is the head of the house in case of disagreement about education of their kids.
A marriage agreement is far more important then anything else for keeping a marriage out of trouble.
So, in old times, it was clear who is the head of the house for what.
It was clear what a job of man is, and what a job of woman is.
It was also clear that they will have as many children as god may give them.
It was also clear that they will owe each other's body.
But, Old times are gone!
There are no more clear rules on anything today, other then the fact that she will be the one to give birth, and he will be the one to give sperm . ... but even that is not written in stone today.
When there is lack of clear, unwritten rules .... modern couples need new, written contracts that will save them from arguing the rest of their life.