This is my official one month report. I have finished one cycle of the Incurables Protocol!! Hereís my timeline, the emotionality and thoughts about where I am now, to be followed by what symptoms are gone and what Iíve learned about the specifics of the protocol. I've included a before and after photo. Please note - there's no make-up or special sad or purposeful happy faces in either one. What you're looking for here is energy, the energy of the spirit before and after.
11/2/09 Stopped coffee, started IP at Ĺ mast - meaning my box hadnít gotten here yet of half of the herbs but I already had the first half, was following strict juicing, daily coffee enemas, walks, eft and castor oil packs. Iíd already been doing daily castor oil packs and coffee enemas (back to back ceís) probably since the beginning of October.
11/6/09 Formal start date of Incurables Protocol.
My one month IP report. Iím taking a quick break and going back in for the 2nd cycle of IP. I havenít remembered to do everything everyday Ė Iíve been a pretty good space cadet Ė but all in all, I think each stretch has been thoughtful, intentional, busy and very healing. I hardly talked on the phone. I bought an emf-free headset for my phone to talk to Uny and to my man Ė and that was it. Iíve been pretty emf-free in comparison to before the IP.
As of about a week into the IP I didnít have any more Ďoh I donít feel so good, God I wish I felt goodí. I didnít feel super awesome throughout the whole first month but on the whole-Iím saying I didnít have the sensations anymore that came along multiple times a day before that where I felt scared for my health and feeling the oopsy moments where I strive to keep in my skin and this dimension. I did not feel like that after a week in. Sure, I was tired and delicate and sometimes sad and sometimes dealing with anger, resentment Ė all sorts of awesome emotional stuff (lol) but as far as feeling scared for my life, like I have for many years now, I did not have that sensation anymore. The sensation Iím describing is one like youíre dying or youíre not sure how much time you have left. Iíve felt like that for about a year now. That dissipated rather quickly. That alone was worth the price of admission. In itís place, with the path laid out of how to get there, I felt steadfast, not hopeful, but steadfast and assured that this IS the course and the destination IS whole, healthy and joyous.
My kidney-adrenal system is so much better- calmer in some respects and more robust in others. What I want to impart is that on a deeper level Ė I feel Ė lighter. Itís like a diagram of the Earthís contents. I feel like my Ďcoreí was so heavy (very much like lava) that my mantle and crust were sloshing around every day without the inspiration and light-heartedness that makes you want to create, dream or ascend to new heights. All day long was simply spent making the day mildly productive. Make sure I got some laundry done, make sure the man has underwear in the drawer Ė and that was about all the energy I had. There is this sense now that my Ďcoreí is tremendously lighter and I can hardly feel a mantle at all. I feel like Iím flyiní by the seat of my pants. Angelic, cosmic, calm, insightful and with all possibilities in front of me. Itís like when you were 10 and you knew you could do and be anything you wanted Ė and that that was very realÖbefore people told you it was harder than that. It isnít really. I feel like God gave me a menu a few days ago and said, Ďanything you want. Everything on this menu is healthful, unconditionally, lovingly delivered and anything you want I have already written for you and the only deal Ė is you have to leave your fear behind in payment. You can have all you want off this list but you must leave your fear behind.í For the first time since I was 10 Ė the menu is real again. It doesnít seem like a ruse, a trick or a mirage. Itís real. I remember and know now what was creating that screen-door effect between me and what I really want. I see the screen door being pulled aside and the outside Ė the world I want and deserve - is becoming mine again. It is reality. It does not exist in an endless pile of plastic supplement bottles. It does not exist at the end of that next complete bloodwork write-up. It does not exist within that next Naturopath whoíll Ďjust totally get meí. It exists on the same menu that was given to me at 10. Itís made up of all the same elements, all the same superfoods, all the same love and none of the deterring products or mind sets that stood to stray me from my birth rite. We live in the matrix. The kingdom of heaven is Ė here. Sound hokey? Pull your head back from the cynicism you call Ďsafe and comfortingí and remember when you jumped and lept from the ground and didnít seem to stop. I truly believe that Christ did walk on water and I donít know that Christ was particularly different from the rest of us. I have felt Ė unstoppable. I will keep going on this train and the track is truly endless. What is at the end? Is there an end? Could each of us walk on water? Itís our matrix. The menu is ours. I now believe, again, as I always knew was TRUE Ė that I can do anything.
I have a quote for a few years now on my vision board above my desk. It is a bookmark that was my Mother-in-Lawís. She passed away at 51 after a mishap in a gallstone surgery. She sought and sought the answer to help quell her auto-immune issues and in the end Ė the man and I know, full well, that I am writing this wheel for both of us. When I put her dog-eared bookmark on my vision board, it had a bittersweetness to it. She didnít make the wheel that I will. She cheers me on, as does my mother. I do this for myself, I do this for them but now Ė that quote has a much more vast meaning for me.
ĎThere is nothing on earth or in heaven which is not within the reach of man.
When God is within reach, what can be beyond it?í
-Hazrat Inayat Khan (founder of the Sufi order)
Iím not overshooting this. Weíve all heard or read Uny say Ė or listened to Christopher or Schulze talk about the woman that regrew vertebrae. We CANNOT separate the physical from the spiritual and emotional. If one can regrow vertebrae Ė think hard on what is regrown and birthed first, at the Ďcoreí of your planetary body, then your Ďmantleí before it gets to your Ďcrustí? Before a vertebrae can be regrown Ė the mineral and body balance being restored is, in turn, repairing pathways and meridians that helped you remember how to jump, fly Ė or at itís most glorious extent Ė walk on water. We are a perfect painting of all that is probable in this world if we pull back from fear.
This is what the last 30 days has reminded me Ė I am, as we all are, designed and meant to be Ė unstoppable in healing and love. When limitless healing and love are within reach Ė what can be beyond it? Iím gonna keep finding out, Iíll tell ya that much.
I can tell you that I feel better but not just Ďbetterí. Iíll list in another post below the symptoms that have sweetly fallen off the list but the most important thing I can tell you is that I remember ME. I am ME, again, still, forever. Forever Ė there is no losing myself, there is no grasping at the railing on the stairs and weeping, wondering if Iíll live to be 40. I am a child of creation and once more Ė I am a child of regeneration, joy and limitless love. I feel Ė LIMITLESS. I am lighter. I bound up and down stairs. I giggle, really giggle. I feel my whole body. It feels connected, I feel c.o.n.n.e.c.t.e.d.