Re: narcissistic husband

My mother was a narcissist. Narcissists are very manipulative people and they know how to be quite charming. So, yes, they are able to snow people---even counselors, as you have noticed. BTW, counseling, IMO is a waste of time for narcissists. Narcissists don't think they have a problem. Instead they think everyone else has a problem.

As for the kids---are they yours or his? You didn't make that clear in your post. You also said that they are "mostly fully grown". Does that mean all of them are still at home or have some left the nest? If some or all of them are still at home, and they are your biological kids (your husband didn't adopt them, did he?), then you need to get out of there---not only for your sake, but for the kids. Yes, if they are your kids, you need to get them out. If they are his kids, and you haven't adopted them, then---sad to say---you will have to leave them behind. Truly, that would be sad...

I speak from experience---it's not pleasant to grow up with a narcissistic parent. My mother was also verbally, emotionally and sometimes physically abusive plus she was an alcoholic. My father never stood up to her either. She had everyone outside the immediate family convinced that us kids were lazy and treated her badly. Also, she had others convinced that my father was the same way.

The fact that your husband did nothing while you lay on the floor in grave danger, is a big flashing sign saying "Get out now!" Bad as my mother was, she wouldn't have done that. However, I can picture her later blaming the victim for whatever may have occured.

You used as a screen-name "nowheretogo". I hope you don't believe that. If you are in the US, call the domestic abuse hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE. They will help you get out of there. And get out you must! Once again---and I can't stress this enough---if the kids are underage and they are yours, you must get them out of that toxic environment. Remember---their well-being is your top priority.

Good luck and get going!