Re: Free from a BPD relationship or not?

"She got mad and told me this was about her not me."


That is an admission on her part, that she considers herself separate from you, which compared to a loving relationship, the two become one. So in her subconscious mind she does not consider the pair of you as a single unit - rather there's only "him" and "her", and no notion of you both being together.

Sounds selfish, which doesn't work - my view is that a loving relationship should be a giving contest.

Don't walk, run.