Abraham, you do help!

You've had some really good posts on here! Your willingness to share information is much appreciated, and also an important part of this forum. Probably what we all most want.

I am guessing that if you feel so strongly about being independent, that you probably learned along the way that it was very necessary. Perhaps you could not rely on others? This may also be related to the anger? I don't know, but I would explore that. It is not fun to be angry, from personal experience I know that because I was angry for years. Didn't think I'd live to be 30, actually, so since I couldn't focus on other goals, like "success," the only reason to carry on and do well was anger- like, "I'll show them!" It worked for a long time to give me energy, then it took a long time to soften that and learn to live for myself and for positive reasons, so I could be happy.

I'm trying to think what helped the most, and perhaps it was to realize that just as I was ill, and needing enough help for myself that I most likely was not a very good friend or help to others in some important ways, those who should have been caring for me and helping me with that were, themselves, also ill. Now I am sorry for them because I am finally getting well (why so slow?) but sadly, they are not. I do think candida is a part of the problem for them, too, all the signs are there, but they are just not ready to hear that. What an awful condition this is....