Qualifications for a Bollywood Actor

1. Is your father a Bollywood actor?
2. Your mother?
3. Are you willing to remove your shirt?
4. Do you have large muscles?
5. Can you dance....actually, never mind, we'll teach you!
6. Do you have a full head of hair...actually, never mind, we'll slap a bad wig on you!
7. Do you look good all bloody and beat up?
8. Are you willing to get bloody and all beat up...actually, never mind, who's not willing to get bloody and beat-up!
9. Can you ride a motorcycle...actually, never mind, we'll shoot so it looks like you're riding!
10. Are you willing to wear a half ton of white powder on your face...actually, you probably are already!
11. Do you know how to kick and punch? (Doesn't matter much, but if you do you'll get more roles.)
12. Are you willing to travel to Switzerland? (What Indian is not?)
13. Can you pretend to play the guitar? (Ok, now we're stretching so we seem professional.)
14. Which are you a spokesperson for, Coke or Pepsi?
15. Are you willing to wear pink?
16. Oh, and can you act? Actually, never mind, no-one will notice!