I found this subject rather interesting and hope you do not mind my input.
You wrote:
"The God who I know and love is incapable of hating...."
May I ask which "God" this is? A god of your own development or the Holy God of Scripture?
What many people overlook is that while God is love His love cannot be compared to our knowledge or expression of love nor can we ever fully grasp His love. If God is "love" then it must be a "holy" and "righteous" love just as His wrath and judgment is holy.
The way God "hates" is not as you and I hate but rather God hates the ACT of sin. In other words God loves and died for the homosexual, for example, yet He hates the ACT of homosexuality.
He loves and died for the murderer yet He hates the ACT. Same with the liar and the drunk.