Re: vtool...a word of caution

Thank you, and your words of warning well taken, and received. Of course you are correct, in the greatest sense. It is not a path that should be taken by most, and I certainly cannot endorse it whatsoever to the masses, nor even my own brother. If I could tell the tale... it would be beyond most imaginations or belief.

My main goal was to learn to "see", and at a great cost, and almost loss of all things, I did indeed see. And you well point out correctly that one can lose all, their mind, their soul, all sense of reality. It is not for the weak, nor should I say perhaps even the fittest, but perhaps only for the fated. It was years ago, that I was doing the work. The Amsterdam experience came expected, long anticipated, yet at an unexpected TIME. I was in Amsterdam, and went to buy some magic mushrooms. I knew the risks, and hadn't at all planned it this way. No, I wanted the shamanistic approach, but didn't know the city, had just flown in, and didn't know my way around at all. I went to a cafe right off the street, and next door was a little shroom shop. I asked the sales guy what was best to start off with, that it was my first time, though I had much experience with meditation and magic. He grinned, and recommended the mexican mushrooms as a first time. 20 Grams, fresh and wet. Super, I thought. I went back to the hotel room, grabbling a bottle of orange juice on the way. I ate half the shrooms at first, waited some 45 minutes, and ate the other half. Nothing seemed to be happening. Then I left the hotel room... which I sort of promised I would never do. After all, I had wanted to fast, to prepare to meet the deity, to commune with the angels, or those on the astral realm.

Tell you about my adventures? Amsterdam was VERY very cool... I did some mexican shrooms there... and knew I was going to meet a deity... but even so, and even though I had mentally prepared for this moment for YEARS (I knew in the future I was going to do the shroom thing), I was still pleasantly SURPRISED and STUNNED at the revelation, and what happened. I simply bought a box of mexican magic mushrooms from a street cafe (nice shops!!!), went to my hotel room, and took 10 grams at first dose, waited about thirty minutes, and took the rest, another 10 grams. I then wandered out into the streets of Amsterdam. I heard the music, a deep techno tune. At first I had wondered into a magic mushroom museum, and then into a marijuana cafe next door. It was the music that drew me in. Remember, this is my FIRST and ONLY (so far) time in Amsterdam, and my FIRST and ONLY (so far) time EVER doing MAGIC MUSHROOMS... though I had long dreamed of this time, and had done ritual magic DAILY and seriously for TWO YEARS :)))) As I walked in this marijuana cafe, I went to the back, and bought a pure marijuana joint (5 euro) and sat down near some pool tables where some guys where playing pool, and lights hung over the tables. I started to smoke the joint, and as I did, it's as if the WHOLE room turned into a sort of cave, but the walls were sort of watery, and then I was energy... pure energy, yet liquid, like water, and when I took the joint to my lips and drew in, I inhaled, exhaled, and flicked my hand forward, and my whole arm, my hand, was as if it was pure liquid energy, electric, and like pure fresh Spring water flicked off my hands into eternity.... and the techno music was so very very Spiritual, deep, and profound... it was at that moment that I knew that no matter what happened, no matter what took place, nothing could "kill" or "destroy" me outside God himself... I was an ETERNAL Spiritual being... pure energy... and just transforming... or crossing from one realm into another... from one world to another,,, but could NEVER die... and that nothing any man or government could do could DESTROY me as in the Spiritual Me.

Then the most magical thing of all happened... on the wall at Club 36 (which is where I later learned and discovered I was/had been) here was a beautiful vividly painted WALL MURAL... a painting of bright deep vivid colors of what I learned later was the Goddess Tara.