Unwanted facial hair and messed up hormones!

I'm 35 and I've had to shave/pluck/cream remove/ CRY -- my chin and upper lip for about 5 years now. Shaving is the fastest, absolutely pain-free method to remove unwanted hair and it does not cause the hair to change in any way.
The reason we think it does is because since the hair is all trimmed the same length, it feels rough and prickly as it grows back in.
Believe me --- when you let it grow out some or even 1/2 an inch or more --it's just as stiff. Even if you plucked or lasored it.

I had 5-6 electrolosis treatments done a couple of years ago a week or two apart and at the time it "appeared" to be working at slowing down the regrowth. Well......once I stopped [expensive!] all the hair came back the same as ever! It didn't hurt to have it done on my chin, but it KILLED me on my lip! Wow.....that hurt!!!
I have red hair [everywhere] and red hair is harder to kill according to the electrolosis lady. She didn't really know why -- she just said it's proven. Who knows? I have PCOS [poly systic ovarian syndome] so I have hormone troubles that have apparently led to this facial hair problem, and I'm losing hair on my head in front! I also just read on hear that if your ring finger is longer than your index [pointer] finger, then you are geneticly geared toward male-pattern stuff!
Mine ARE! I've also been barren for my 15+ year marriage! [we've adopted]

So now, I shave my chin every couple of days [because it's almost solid] or so and I'm plucking my upper lip trying to live with some of the hair -- the blond softer stuff. I mean realisticly we all have hair everywhere! Once you start examining yourself though, you get more and more paranoid!

I have found that I can actually pluck without dying from pain, if I keep the hot water trickling and a rag wet with the hot water, I hold it to my lip [without burning myself] and let my pores open up and the hair get softened up a bit -- THEN I pluck out a few at a time.
This really helps avoid the prickly grow-back stage because by doing a few every day or two or three they are all on different grow-back times so it's not like shaving. It also lasts longer than shaving.

I hate this! It's so embarrassing! I won't do it in front of my husband, I lock the bathroom door! He knows -- but still! So if anyone comes up with a New, Painless, PERMANENT cure --- LET ME KNOW!
Momofnine