Re: What to expect?

The advise and insight that I have received from this original post are amazing, enpowering, insightful and educating. I am so glad I posted.

I realize that I must get my children out to avoid damaging their futures. My oldest son I had when I was 19 and is not my husbands child. He is 14 and realizes my husband is an idiot and I need to get rid of him. He has a very stable father and has, thankfully, been blessed with a good stable head, rationalizes well and has a fun and calm personality. He also is only at our house 1/2 the time and my husband trys not to act up in front of him and also stays away when he is over because he doesn't want to be viewed by my oldest for who he really is. It is our biological child I am worried about. He is 9 and very upset with his father. I WILL find counseling for him and myself.

I also started keeping a log book but only of the last year. I will go back to the beginning.

There was a line in the first message about is being a 'good thing' that he has a girlfriend to keep his mind somewhat off from me. Excellent point! I've often thought that myself.

My plan is to take the next few years and recover and focus on my children. I am hoping that someday I can take my life's experience and help other women/children that are going through the same thing.

I think what really drives me crazy is that I cannot understand how a person whose life is so dramatic does not choose to change and also how a sick person (drug addict) rationalizes/justifies their actions. I know that is not for me to understand and the drugs play a big role. It's simple for me to look at right and wrong and not blur the lines to fit my situation so I get frustrated when he cannot do the same. I know I cannot change it or help him but it is frustrating.

I have about 2 months before the divorce is final so I will move through these months quietly and with caution as well as making sure all my ducks are in a row.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your posts. I'm sure I will come back and read them often.