Dear Vanda,

I am alright thank you. I have been quite busy lately and have not had the chance to check in. The clinics have been bustling with patients because there has been an addition of a new doctor. As the new doctor comes in on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday, I am ensconced from the cluttered little doctor's room to the plush VIP lounge on these days. The VIP Lounge is a secluded area partitioned by tainted glass, has a private computer, huge armchairs, flowers, coffee machine, and tables for breakfast. Unlike the shared lobby and lounge catering to the "normal" (I surmise lower-paid) corporate workers, the exclusive lounge caters only to the VIPs who are offered the exclusive service of a private waiter. To be honest, the only thing I like about the VIP Lounge is the fact these high-salaried corporate workers coming for health screening get to wear expensive purple bathrobes instead of washed-out blue ones. haha. So far the progress of the bowel study is on the lower end of good, but it is still progress nonetheless.

At the same time, I have spent the last week plucking up courage to correct my life. I have firmly resolved in moving myself away from this dysfuntional family environment. Instead of vascillating further, I went to apply for a PPO at PAVE(Ccentre for promoting an alternative to violence). That afternoon was one of the worst in my life as I spent 5 hours reliving the disturbing pain of my abuse before I was granted a temporary PPO(Personal Protection Order) by the judge. The latter happened in the blink of an eye, the length of which is totally inproportionate to the amount of preceeding time spent on going through the pain. I met up with a lawyer, who deals with criminal law and he gave me free advice on the proceedings during the court hearing next Thursday ( on the generous side, I would be given 10min to state my complaint and reason for applying a PPO, 10min for the respondents to justify their behaviour and 10min for rebuttal. If the respondents, my parents, are unwilling to consent the PPO and their refuse to admit their violent behaviour, the hearing will then proceed to a trial. So I hope the process if quick and clean cos I do not want more trauma to be really frank.), how to present myself, the red flags to avoid and some words of encouragement and sympathy for my plight. I have finished typing out statements against my father and mother and have asked a lawyer friend to advise. He will be passing them back to me in a few days. This is what has left me totally haggard.

By the way, I hate to admit it but I am not sleeping enough and I feel extremely guilty about it. I am constantly tired but I cannot seem to get myself to rest. It is as if I am afraid to get an eye-shut because life will just pass me by. Give me a chiding, would you? I reckon it will help.

How is your fast? How is your husband and work? I watched a travel documentary about Czech Republic a few days back and was impressed by the landscape. I was most intrigued by the Astronomical Clock at Staromestske Square, Prague where the clock played music and had artistic statuette performances timed superbly to when the hour hand strikes 12n. How ingenius! But I was thinking, " Damn, if I visited Czech Republic during Christmas, won't it be freezing? What a pity it will be then to miss out on the beauty of your country."