Blog: Plant Your Dream!
by YourEnchantedGardener

Processing my Jewish experience pain

Processing my Jewish experience pain

Date:   5/18/2019 3:11:36 AM   ( 28 mon ) ... viewed 664 times

I know it is candle lighting time and you won’t get this till after shabas.

That was quite a project to remove that pic. Took a lot of grace and time.

I have been thinking of you.
I spent time with my blood family last weekend in LA.

I am glad you have found the place where you feel alive spiritually and that the connection with proper diet for you is part of that.

It was kind of bashert—meant to be— that the page I found and then erased had a recipe for a healthier challah. Growing a healthier challah is one of my projects that comes up for me.

It saddens me that kosher does not equal having healthy food practices.

My mother died when I was 12 of cancer. I grew up in an orthodox home. My aunt developed cancer too but turned to a healthier diet and took alternative therapies. She lived for 50 more years and retired in Israel. She was highly steeped in Jewish learning and practices.

I have much pain around my Jewish experience.

Maybe we can talk more about this theme of the importance of eating well and how they is supported by biblical texts.

Here is something I wrote this morning on Facebook:

Some of my core trauma
Is in the context of the Religious
tradition of my birth. I was born into an orthodox Jewish household. My life journey, and life purpose, took me away from many orthodox practices, but there will always be a longing for the opportunity to feel a part, rather than separate from blood family relations.

Mother’s Day and my sister Vivian’s birthday—she is four years older than I am—gave me the opportunity to feel into some of these feelings once again, and very much surrender my own positions to simple give the love and kindness I desire to give wherever possible. A lot of healing took place.

Near 72, a rather alive 72, I have a desire to share connection with family, and my comfort zone is still very much challenged in orthodox settings.

I have just as many rules as my orthodox relatives, they just aren’t all the same rules.

Is there a way to make peace with these emotions?

I am looking at reprinting my books now, as part of a legacy I want to leave, and one of these books is called Psalms to Anne published around 1994 —dedicated to Anne Frank—the teen who died in the Holocaust—as well as Lori Kaye, the woman murdered in a synagogue the last day of Passover 2019.

I felt very unsettled and unsafe to imagine that places of worship can be invaded. The death was less than 20 miles from my home.

The day of her funeral, I felt fear to attend. I did attend one memorial at her home. I shared compassion with her husband.

Must we kill each other because we have different ways to see God? can we come to accept each other in spite of our different strongly held beliefs?

So much to say! Where does safety begin?

In recent weeks, I have responded to these deaths by reading a Declaration of Interdependence that appears in this book.

One line reads:

“Let everyone know my Declaration of Interdependence to you.”

One of the most difficult places to feel at peace is within our own families of origin.

Keep me in your good thoughts.
So much more to learn.

From the writing, made with

Words to DI,
Words to the World Peace Declaration of Interdependence:

Photo is of my favorite flower, from a cactus that has been a friend for more than 20 years. It bloomed May 16.

May 17, 2019
12:00 noon

Links to explore on fb:
Rabbi Solomon Goldman
Healing Family Relationships is a theme.

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