I certainly can relate!  I, too, had a narcissistic mother.  However, my parents stayed together save for the two times they split up but got back together after a matter of a few months apart.  My father was the perfect enabler who never stood up for us kids.  He also wouldn't let us defend ourselves when my mother was accusing us of things we didn't do.  He would always pull us aside and tell us to ignore her because he didn't want her to yell at him later.  "Let's have some peace in this house" he would always say.  Way to throw us under the bus, Dad!

My mother died 11 years ago and to this day, my father just doesn't get it.  He'll either say that things weren't that bad and that I'm exaggerating.  Either that, or he will say "What was I supposed to do?"  Oh, I don't know, Dad, maybe you could have defended us kids?

My mother also used to say that we destroyed her life.  Everything was always someone else's fault---it was never her fault.  Sadly, no one outside of the family would believe us when we tried to tell them what she was really like.  You see, she was far nicer and much more charming to outsiders.   I could go on and on with more examples but...  I just want you to know that you aren't alone.  And, yes, this is a great forum!