Re: New here

I still feel alot in my life that I am responsible for people around me's misery. I am the one to blame still, in my own mind. I am so subservient, still feel like I am behaving wrongly... It's really sad in a way. I am terrified of losing friends that I like, and sometimes avoid them instead, so that I might not run the the risk of saying the wrong thing or being just 'wrong and unwanted'. I am actually doing that alot, I avoid the people I love and that treats me well, while the ones that critisise and whom I don't even like very much become very close and I spend lots of time with them.
I am so afraid of being rejected by the people that I like and I stay away from them for very long periods and avoid them. I cant bring myself to contact my best friend from school now for example, even though she sent me an email about wanting to catch up... I am just afraid she wont like me anymore.