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day to day
progress is to not stop, ever
Date: 3/27/2010 9:59:35 AM ( 14 y ) ... viewed 1093 times Feel like a drag. Sporadic bill paying, sporadic self-care, sporadic affirmations.
This is the pattern that has been my life. Got a good rhythm, great focus, real energy to fly. Then, wham. I stop, drop and roll.
I get up. I start again. Then wham. I stop, drop and roll.
Today -
pray again
read/journal to morning meditations
walk around the village and say prayers of gratitude for what I have and where I live
really clean each room in the house - full day off
eat lunch
balance check book
pay bills
set up car registration for Tuesday
pick up my friend and her kids for Open House at the local 'sugar house' - Maple Syrup boiling season
eat dinner
hit the 6:30 meeting
come home and eat a snack
prep for bed and for work tomorrow
do nightly prayers and inventory
lights out
There's my day in a nutshell. I ask that my thinking be divorced from self-seeking and self-pity.
I just want this twisted anxiety in my body to go away. My sense of pure hopelessness and failure of all I've done before today. My feeling of being alone. That's all selfishness - it's all about me.
1. I can clean my emotional palate by going for a walk to the post office and praying prayers of gratitude all the way there.
2. I am a success today.
3. I am responsible today.
4. I am a good friend to others today.
5. My feelings are indicating I need to change, they are not bad and they do not have to drive me into the ground.
6. I am exactly where G*d wants me to be, I am safe in His care.
7. I am okay right here, right now.
8. I take my sponsor's direction and my sponsor has 37 years of sobriety. I can trust her. She has a sponsor, she goes to meetings almost every day. She is active in working the steps. I am safe taking her direction. She is not self-deceived.
9. I have a job today. I have a home today that is mine that I rent. I have a car today that is paid for. I have good tools for survival.
10. I am grateful to have this blog to write out my day in and feel supported just by its being here and available.
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