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Debtor's Anonymous
Debtor's Anonymous
is going to help me a lot.
12 step groups I do
and what I get from them.
Date: 7/27/2006 5:04:46 PM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 2977 times July 27, 06
2:48 PM
I do two different 12 step groups.
A.R.T.S Anonymous gives me a forum
to talk about my creative issues.
This is a very important outlet for me.
I spend much too much time alone,
and this Monday night group is something
I look forward to. It is good to break the
hour after hour grind.
I am actually happiest when I am doing something
totally different that how I spend my time.
This is really something to look at.
In other words, my natural talents are
networking and being in intimate service
with others as a guide.
Then, I also love to Perform and Teach,
and share Enchanted Garden Ideas at Conferences.
I love taking on various projects that need doing.
I also love combining these Talents, such as
taking photos and putting forth ideas together.
My main problem with Creativity
is that I have too much of it.
I love to create new things.
Creativity for me is almost an Addiction.
It is my second favorite intimate experience.
#1 is....the three letter word that starts with an S
and ends with an X.
I am having to come to terms with
this Addiction. I create a lot of suffering
and isolation through how much I love
to Create.
I am not sure I have the solution (s)
yet.
Likely it has to do with buildingt my
Self Esteem and Self Worth up to the place
where I am truly a Team Player who passes
off Creations to others to complete.
My second group is a Step Study on Tuesday
night. IT is a CODA group. I do not agree with
some of the ideas about Higher Power. I feel
God gave us each a Soul, so we can grow our
Soul here on earth. Sometimes, I scream out
for God's help, but I really have to be done on my knees
when I do that.
I am well aware of my addictions and tendencies
to go for feeling better through loving another person.
Some of my problems just seem too unmanageable.
Loving someone else fills my heart.
The only way I am going to get out of my present
circumstances and fulfill my life is one step at a time.
It can feel like I am in a prison. I can suffer so because
I get lonely for the life I would like to be having.
When I am living my life, I like to be emmersed in
the lives of many people at once. One of the happiest
most successful times of my life was participating
in the International Feng Shui Conference last summer.
I used ALL of my Talents in one place.
That was my Niche.
There is one more 12 step group I am going to start
this Saturday that is going to be a Lifesaver.
IT is called Debtors Anonymous.
I just googled in Keeping current with Record Keeping.
I was already planning to attend a Saturday meeting
of Debtor's Anonymous.
I found this article from someone who has benefited
from such a 12 step group.
http://www.solvency.org/recordkeeping.html
On recordkeeping
by an anonymous member of Debtors Anonymous
This recovery story is made available by a member of DA under two conditions: (1) no name is attached, and (2) nobody makes any money off it. Feel free to read it for your own inspiration, and for that of your own local DA group.
I know how very easy it is to let record keeping slip. Its tough. I think it is important enough to share at length on this vital DA tool.
I think it is very important to do whatever is necessary to get in the habit of keeping good, clear, consistent records. It is the foundation of my DA program, as far as day to day action is concerned. Knowing that my higher power is here for me in a tangible way in these DA tools helps motivate me to stay on track and keep doing the "do" things (as Elaine says). Actually the real foundation of my DA program is my higher power, but I consider the DA tools as G-d-given. So I feel that my HP wants me to keep records. And how else can I know what it costs to properly take care of my needs? How else can a spending plan eventually be developed that is realistic?.
I needed a lot of support to stick with record keeping initially in DA. It was all I could do to keep records for the first four months of committing to the DA process. I did not do a spending plan initially, I decided it was enough to just make record keeping part of my life. In early DA, I hardly looked at the records once I had done totals, I just forced myself to do them even when I wanted so badly to avoid it. I often had to get support at total time; I usually book-ended the activity with a phone call. Even four and a half years later, I still sometimes book-end totaling of daily expenses. Especially if I've let a day or two elapse after the end of a week.
First, it helps to develop a list of expense categories that is meaningful and provides the needed clarity without being too complex. A pressure group can be helpful at this point. As I had very little DA support in Toronto in '93, I found the Mundis book (Jerrold Mundis, How to Get Out of Debt, Stay Out of Debt, and Live Prosperously. Bantam books) very helpful when developing my category list. Between 25 and 35 categories is a good guideline. Then, it took time (and humility, surrender, support, book-ending etc.) to stay in the habit of recording whenever money is spent. It took about three weeks before I got pretty much in the habit of keeping daily records. One has to find a method that works for them. I use a small folded piece of paper and a pencil stub and automatically record whenever I spend. On occasion I may take a receipt instead but always record it into the daily record and then throw the receipt away.
And at the end of every week I total the week up and enter the numbers into my work sheet, then throw the daily records away. The idea is not to pile up papers and receipts, it is to maintain as clear and simple and uncluttered as records can be. From the records I get the clarity that enables me to accurately see the truth and take the appropriate action and take care of myself, instead of being insane and vague with finances. But truth and clarity from record keeping can bring a bit of pain as I felt as if I were being dragged out of denial, and it hurt! I felt anger, fear, and shame, maybe some sadness too. It was kind of strange, the way the feelings came up, and I found it confusing and maybe ashamed how writing numbers on a little piece of paper and totaling them & entering totals into a computer spreadsheet (actually, I did manual records for the first two months) could bring up all kinds of feelings. It might manifest in resistance. But, like a lot of the issues in DA, its not the money that causes the feelings to come up, its the issues AROUND the money that cause the feelings. And I felt ashamed of the pain that was coming up, and the best thing I can say about dealing with the feelings that come up is to get through the shame, however one chooses to get through the shame, and my way was/is by talking about it at a meeting or to someone trusted.
If I ever fall behind in totaling daily records and have two, three, or four week's worth of un-totaled daily records, its usually better to throw them all away and start fresh at the start of a new month. But keeping daily records should be done at all times, regardless if one is totaling or not, just to stay in the habit. I find if I let weekly totaling slip after the end of a week it gets tougher to do it with each passing day. Once I made daily recording and weekly totaling a habit the rest of the DA tools kind of fell into place. It's easiest, IMHO, to keep the routine of totaling on the night of the 7th, 15th, 23rd, & last day of the month. No later than the morning after. Before going to bed or in the morning before leaving for work are times I find convenient.
It does get easier over time, once it starts to become a habit, use of acronyms for various categories, finding the formats of the daily record (to make weekly totals easier) that work best for me, etc. It takes me about 10 or 15 minutes a week to do weekly totals, and another 15 or so minutes after totaling the last week of the month, when I also do my plan for the next month. As I've already said, all kinds of feelings came up for me and I'd say it was six months before I no longer had a tough time doing it.
I'd even say that record keeping relates to working the 12 steps. When I resist and do it anyway, I consider it an act of humility, submission, and surrender (step 1, admitting powerlessness over money issues) and setting my ego aside admit that the way I used to do things will not work, and accept that here, in DA, is a better way that can work for me if I am willing (step 2, came to believe a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity) I "came to believe" by first hearing the success stories of others, then by starting to see my own progress. Step 3 (Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care and direction of G-d) is manifested by deciding to keep records despite the urge to resist and the action of doing it. Step 4 (Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves) is reflected by how good, clear records show my values with relation to money. And if I decide to have a pressure relief meeting to review my records and category list, that could be part of a step 5! (admitted to G-d, ourselves, and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs) Anyways, I hope I've managed to cast some insight as to why record keeping can be so difficult, especially for newcomers that have never worked the 12 steps before.
For me, record keeping is one of my most important DA recovery tools. By keeping records I can, if I want, look back over the last few month's worksheets and know what areas I'm overspending in, and what my priorities and values are. From keeping records and then looking back over them trends and patterns emerge, I begin to see myself in ways I had not before. I may discover areas in which I am depriving myself. I may see the effects of unplanned unforeseen expenses that caused financial strain. I mostly use the month just completed to do my plan for the next month, but sometimes I may look back over the last three months, or further back, depending on the category I'm planning for.
I always feel confident that I'll be safe and comfortable in my DA program if I continue to keep daily records of all income and expenses, and total my daily records every week (on the 7th, 15th, 23rd, & last day of the month , that is how my spreadsheet is configured, same as the examples in the book "How to Get Out..." ) and also do a plan (and at least try to follow it!) at the beginning of each month. This has become habit for me and part of my life and for that I am grateful!
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http://www.solvency.org/online.html
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