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Truth is...
acceptance
Date: 7/5/2010 7:36:05 PM ( 16 y ) ... viewed 10444 times ...hard to accept.
I am doing very, very well. My appetite is less these days. It's exactly two weeks that I've been eating 90% raw-vegan. The 10% is tofu. I am very, very pleased with the changes. My mood is stable. My nails are down to 3 ridges in most. One nail has no ridges at all. It's like they're melting into the surface of my nail the way ice cream melts into a bowl.
I hiked the mountain today in 90 degree weather and practically 95% humidity. I wish it would just rain. It hasn't.
Tofu for breakfast. Dates for snack. Just not hungry. Peach for dinner. I have a salad waiting and ready. I had two salads yesterday and lunch was huge.
So sad my ex is on a completely different planet than I am. His world is nothing like mine. I cannot parent a partner. I used to want men to parent me. So, what goes around comes around I see.
Sad. Just sad.
Cancelled my email account. Have another but did not supply address to ex. Just advised that I no longer can be reached by email.
His email was touching. His phone response was so cold it was chilling. I just will not continue on this path. My life is at stake and it just doesn't hit his radar. Yeah, he hasn't had a drink in 10 years, but damn. That's not the kind of sobriety I'm looking for. Buyer beware.
I will have a snack - salad most likely and then study. It's overdue now. Raw sunflower seeds on top - yum.
My heart hurts today as well. If he only knew. When I tell him, he lashes out at me. No more. No more. Alcoholism, PTSD from 27 years in the fire service - I'll stand here, I just won't allow myself to be abused.
A shell of a man looking for a woman to fill a G*d-sized hole in his heart. I pray he doesn't get AIDS in the pursuit.
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