Re: help w boyfriend relationship

Hi there, sorry you're having a tough time. I think you both got carried along on the wave of new relationship,baby and moving away. Now that you're starting to settle, the cracks could be appearing in your relationship. These cracks can be fixed, but it'll take a lot of talking and listening on BOTH your parts. He seems insecure, which is maybe why he feels so threatened by your new friend. Remember, it's not your friend or you that has this problem - it's him. Try and talk to him in a non threatening way. This means that you dont accuse him directly of anything i.e you wouldnt say " you're making my life a misery, whats the matter with you?" Instead you could say " I'm sorry things arent going so well between us, and I want to work out why my having a close friend is causing us difficulties". He needs lots of reassurance that he is your man, and that although nothing can change that, you do need friends outside your relationship. Tell him the benefits of you having friends - it makes you feel better about yourself, more confident and therefore more able to uphold your valued relationship with him. It doesnt lessen how you feel about him, or make him second place. The reason you went 'dry' was probably through stress and anxiety - tell him that. This will go away when you sort out your issues. I'm afraid though that if all this falls on deaf ears and he will not allow you to live your own life alongside, and including him (which is what a partnership is all about) then you will have to think seriously about your future together. Relationships are hard, and they only work if BOTH of you are prepared to put the effort in.
I wish you all the best.