Re: You can have it all

Believe me, Ru - my sister is not the one I'm worrying about abandoning. SHE is the one who has abandoned me and my mother. She has gone on to live her own life, after me and my Mom babysat her son (who is now a sophmore in college).

So, my sister is not the one I'm worried about.

As to forgetting my Mom when I hit the bright lights?

Absolutely not. Giving my parents the things they could never buy themselves was a big part of my reason to "make it big."

But I just remember a friend making this point:

"Don't you think your Mom would rather have YOU than the things you could buy her?"

Wow. That blew me away.

And yet - into the mix, there is the sexuality confusion (which we have previously addressed).

That, and my career seemingly at a stand-still seems to make my choices very challenging.

HOWEVER, I do indeed like what you suggested about "having it all."

There MUST be a way to fulfill my "TV Guide" dreams and to take care of my Mom.

Part of the "dream" was to make it so big, that I would be able to hire a full-time assistant for my Mom.

But when was that supposed to happen? A year? Five years? Would she still be alive or coherent to appreciate it (she's 84 now)?

See, what I mean? And in the meantime, I'm not getting any younger either.

Yet, it all goes back to what my friend says, "Don't you think your Mom would rather have you?"

I am down with that - just as long as she doesn't have me at the EXPENSE of me - and my dreams.